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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23815333">wherever you go (i'll follow)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/crestre/pseuds/crestre'>crestre</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>EXO (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Attempt at Humor, Brief appearances of other characters - Freeform, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mpreg, Not Beta Read, Oblivious Pining, One Night Stands, Possible Inaccuracies in Work Setting</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 15:27:52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>30,380</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23815333</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/crestre/pseuds/crestre</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>And it has been long known that between them, Sehun is better with words and prefers declarations over actions. He finds the latter confusing. It could mean one, but convey a hundred. </p><p>Whereas Jongin is the opposite. He values actions more than words, as more often than not, he finds them lacking and easy to manipulate. Actions convey what you truly feel, and he believes that even in times of confusion, actions would remain truthful.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kim Jongin | Kai/Oh Sehun</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>39</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>246</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>CASE–94: Round One</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This piece was written for the first round of the CASE–94 Fest for Oh Sehun.</p><p>&gt;Sehun works under Baekhyun who owns a fashion company. In the first chapter, they are about to release a collection, and they are working to shoot the images they will release on their website. </p><p>&gt;Jongin is a photographer from a multimedia agency (not sure how that works), and he mostly works for magazines, photoshoots, or fashion events. </p><p>&gt;Flashbacks include italicized paragraphs or those which are encased in “+ - + - +” include flashbacks. Those which are written in italics have an introductory paragraph to introduce that it is, indeed, a flashback</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sehun stands still amidst the bustling city of Seoul. There are strangers scrambling in hurry to get home. He spots a group walking unsteadily, and an unamused laughter escapes from his lips, creating a small puff of cloud that faded as quickly as it appeared.</p><p>The weight on his hand is heavy. It is as if he is Atlas carrying the burden of the world. <em> Such a small object</em>, Sehun wonders, tracing the outline of the item, <em> but why is it that you have my future at your command?  </em></p><p>Trepidation is coursing through him, as he reviews the scenery in front of him. Sometimes, Sehun finds it fascinating and a little bit overwhelming that individuality exists. <em> All of our lives, you will only ever see things truly in your perspective and it’s quite… odd to think that others experience reality and perceive the world differently as you do.  </em></p><p>Still, how many have been in the same situation as him? More importantly, how many have been in his situation and managed to, somehow, by some miracle, end up happily? </p><p>There’s a wry smile decorating his face, as he heads to the nearest public bathroom. </p><p> </p><p>For as long as he can remember, Sehun has always been particular with cleanliness. He would use a tissue to hold on hand bars in trains and he would never, ever wear outside clothes to bed. None of those seem to matter as of this moment, sitting in some public toilet was a concept Sehun had never even dreamed of doing. </p><p>It’s atrocious and downright insulting. </p><p>The air smells like piss, but Sehun doesn’t notice that, as his attention is trained on the small, rectangle object in front of him. Scratch that, objects. There are three, and all of them displayed the same thing: two red lines.</p><p>Two red lines.</p><p>Two. Red. Lines. </p><p><em> Shit</em>, he mentally cursed. Closing his eyes tightly and hoping this is just some stupid nightmare—expect it isn’t. Everything remains the same no matter how many times or how tightly he shuts his eyes. </p><p>Sehun is pregnant. </p><p>How did he end up like this?</p><p>Ideally, moments like this deserve a grand, cinematic flashback, as the protagonist reminisces about the events that lead up to this moment. A montage of scenarios in monochrome in some nameless bar. There are too many people crowding in such a small place, too many drinks involved. </p><p>The taste of a lavish-sounding alcohol is too sweet and addicting, but there’s a bitter taste. Still, it leaves him wanting for more because the taste is too good to pass and he feels a certain sense of lightness like he is lounging in the clouds, he wants to feel this, regardless of the bitterness that would come later. </p><p>Several drinks later and with diminished awareness of his surroundings, a handsome stranger would lay his hands on his waist, whispering sweet nothings, and Sehun would flirt back. Maybe turn around and put his hands on the night prince’s shoulder to pull him closer. </p><p>Sehun groans because first of all, he is no protagonist, and more than anything, he can’t remember a single damn thing except the morning after that. In retrospect, he got one thing right? </p><p>The culprit is handsome, that’s for sure. Drop dead gorgeous and sinful, plump lips, eyes full of mischief, and a body to die for. <em> Stop fantasizing about your best friend, fucking pervert</em>, Sehun chastised. </p><p><em> Fuck, how is he going to tell Jongin? </em> They haven’t talked since that incident. <em> Wait, are they still best friends in the first place? </em></p><p> </p><p>See, even though Jongin is his best friend, Sehun knows better than asking the said man for logical-sounding advice. </p><p>Jongin and logical pieces of advice do not belong in the same sentence. It’s not that Jongin is incapable of rationality, but the man wears his emotions on his sleeves like a second skin. They are too powerful to be hidden, too consuming to be concealed. </p><p>They have that kind of relationship for a reason because although Jongin can be reasonable at times, it is during “shit is about to blow up” moments that Sehun runs towards the latter. He knows that regardless of whatever fuckery the younger has gotten himself into, Jongin will always be on his side. </p><p>That’s their bond. </p><p>They are each other’s ride or die. </p><p><em> Not really</em>, he muses. Fidgeting in his seat, he waits for his… best friend to arrive. He bites his bottom lip, nervous and his heart is hammering wildly. Sehun wonders if following Kyungsoo’s advice was a smart decision to do. </p><p> </p><p>+ - + - +</p><p>
  <em> “You should tell him, Hunnie,” the older whispers, his voice as gentle as the touch he repeatedly does on Sehun’s hair. Kyungsoo is one of his closest friends, someone he would entrust his life to.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “What if…” he trailed off, eyes suddenly filling up with tears. “What if he gets mad at me or rejects the baby?”  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> The baby, oh.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Sehun breathes, his arms encasing the front of his torso unconsciously. He is going to have a baby. Overwhelming emotions crash through him—fear, excitement, courage, love. He doesn’t even know what he is doing with his own life, how is Sehun going to raise this child? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> What if he fucks up and the baby ends up hating him? How is he going to live his life knowing that his own child detests him? What future is he going to give him when he barely has his future figured out? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Oh, god.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Sehun failed to notice how he is trembling and his breath is uneven. The older is trying to call him and bring Sehun back to reality, but the younger’s gaze is clouded, unfocused and yet, there are drops of tears flowing from his eyes.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Shit, Sehun. Snap out of it!” The older screams, shaking Sehun as tender as he could. A few seconds later, his irises start to move, searching for his surroundings then his gaze lands and focuses on Kyungsoo.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Thank God,” Kyungsoo sighed, “Are you okay?”  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> His father instilled the importance of bravery, and that there is nothing wrong with being afraid or falling down, but at the end of the day, you have to get up and go on. Bravery isn’t just about victory because along with it, comes hope. Hope keeps one going, pushes him forward, makes him envision a better future.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> By far, this is the toughest challenge of his life, and he thinks it’s just catastrophic that he doesn’t have even one of the two.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Sehun throws himself towards the other man. “I am gonna fuck this up, hyung,” he sobs, hands clasping tightly against the older’s dress shirt. “I don’t want my child to hate me.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “It’s going to be okay, Hun,” Kyungsoo assures, caressing the younger’s nape.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “You don’t know that.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Kyungsoo clicks his tongue and pulls Sehun away from him, the latter whines wishing for more of his hyung’s comfort. “I know that you will not fuck this up, trust me. Because you're Oh Sehun, the most stubborn person I know.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “That’s not helping!” Sehun screams in protest and the other chuckles.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “You won’t stop, Sehun, until you get it right, until every little detail is according to your standard, and I know that you will make mistakes, but you will not stop until you make everything right.”  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> The younger has stopped crying, but his eyes are still downcast and he is nibbling on his lip. “He would hate me for being such an uptight bitch.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Kyungsoo guffaws, earning a glare from the younger. “This is different Sehun. You will raise your child with love. I don’t think you will be an uptight father because you will dote on your child so much that he will end up like his brat of a father.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I am not a brat!” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “It’s cute that you think that way,” Kyungsoo replies in a mocking tone.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Hyuuuung!” </em>
</p><p>+ - + - +</p><p> </p><p>“Sehun? Hey, you okay?” A voice snapped him out of his reverie. Looking up, he is met with Jongin’s worried eyes. </p><p>Oh, it’s Jongin. </p><p>
  <em> Shit.  </em>
</p><p>Sehun blinks, taking in the sight in front of him. The other’s hand is resting on his shoulder. Jongin is leaning down, his face is directly in front of Sehun. Curiosity and concern move like shadows in his orbs, and the younger takes that in along with the other beautiful details like the way the sunlight makes the color of Jongin’s eyes a little bit lighter. </p><p>Golden pools of honey.</p><p>“Hey, I asked you a question. Are you okay? You seemed a little bit off.” </p><p>“Oh, hey.” Sehun finally says, berating himself mentally for acting like a fool. “Sorry, didn’t sleep well.” He reasoned out. Sehun is aware that Jongin knows better than that, but the older man said nothing. </p><p>Silence reigned between them. The younger’s attention darted on just about anything that is not Jongin. He found this place not too long ago, and he has been meaning to try it with Jongin. <em> Guess it came in handy, huh? </em></p><p>The atmosphere is calm, and there aren't many people frolicking around the cafe. All of them seem to be minding their own businesses, too busy and too engrossed to have a small chit-chat. </p><p>The walls are painted beige. Ornamental plants and abstract as well as some realist paintings are hung to decorate and add life to the wall. His eyes scan through the paintings, spotting some that resemble Monet’s paintings. Most of the furniture is painted white. It complements the beige wall, and there are some rattan-woven chairs that harmonize with the ornamental plants around the cafe. </p><p>“How are you?” Jongin breaks the silence. </p><p>“Huh?” Sehun whips his head towards Jongin. A little bit too fast, if he may add. </p><p>“I said, how are you?”</p><p>Anxiety is a consuming feeling, but people pay more heed to emotions such as fear, happiness, and sadness. Little awareness is given to anxiety, perceiving it as nervousness, as trembles in the fingers or shortness of breaths. They are ignorant of how anxiety can paralyze you and can bring the strongest men to their knees. Anxiety gives birth to fear, and Sehun be is a firm believer of the saying that we have nothing to fear, but fear itself. </p><p>“Oh, I am doing fine, I guess,” Sehun's voice falters a little bit at the end. The other’s brows are raised in question, and the younger knows that Jongin’s going to voice them anytime soon. </p><p>“You?” Sehun throws in—fast—to avoid Jongin’s inquiry. “I take it that you have been busy?” </p><p>“Yeah,” Jongin whispers, averting his gaze. With his head turned towards the side, Sehun is blessed with the sight of his best friend’s jawline. <em> Fuck</em>, Sehun curses, <em> how can his jawline be that perfect? </em></p><p>The younger knows that the tension between them is almost too palpable to go unnoticed. The air is so thick that one can physically cut through it. Sehun’s heart aches because he has never, not even once, thought that the atmosphere between them will become like this. With Jongin, Sehun is at ease, he can be himself, bare his thoughts and emotions with no restrictions. </p><p>“Are you working on a new choreography or something?” Jongin has always been passionate about dancing. In fact, Sehun has grown to love it because of his best friend. </p><p>Dancing—it’s them, their trademark. </p><p>“No,” Jongin smiles, “I’m working on my portfolio.” The younger tilted his head in confusion, “For Vogue America.”</p><p>
  <em> Oh, yeah. Jongin’s also a photographer.  </em>
</p><p>“What,” Sehun whispers, too stunned to react. “That’s… that’s amazing, Jongin!”.</p><p>“It’s nothing big, really.” Jongin replied, sporting an amused grin.</p><p>“Nothing big?!” The younger screeched, kicking the other’s leg under the table. “Just don’t forget about me, okay?” He added as a jest. </p><p>“Wait, who are you again?”</p><p>“Jongin!” Sehun whined, not noticing how easily they have picked up their old rhythm. It has always been like this.</p><p>With Jongin, everything falls into place with such an unparalleled ease like a routine of sorts. When one moves, the other follows. </p><p>With Jongin, he doesn’t have to try.</p><p> </p><p>Sehun’s busy wiping the grease from the seafood marinara he just had. He frowns, wanting more servings of the said dish. In the middle of deciding whether he should order another plate of seafood marinara or try the shrimp pesto, Jongin breaks the silence.</p><p>“I’m glad. I thought that after <em> that </em>incident, I would lose my best friend.” He smiled, and the younger returned it, but his smile had a sense of uncertainty and nervousness. “We have been best friends for so long. Of course, nothing would break us apart, right?”</p><p>“Uhm, actually,” Sehun clears his throat, and he catches the slight frown on Jongin’s face. Perhaps, it was not the response he expected to get. “I have something to tell you.”</p><p>Jongin nods, prompting Sehun to continue, but the latter couldn’t. His throat feels heavy with the weight of his confession.</p><p>“Yes? Sehun?”</p><p>“I - <em> uhh</em>,” he starts, hands trembling and heart racing, “I may or may not be pregnant.” Sehun said too softly and too quickly.</p><p><em> May or may not be? </em>Sehun screams internally.</p><p>“Sehun, what? Can you speak a little more slowly?”</p><p>Remorse, guilt, and anxiety are swirling on Sehun’s orbs. He breathes in deep, preparing for the catastrophe that is about to happen.</p><p>
  <em> It’s now or never. </em>
</p><p>“Jongin, I’m pregnant.”</p><p> </p><p>Sehun thought that he had catalogued every possible reaction from Jongin, and not one of them managed to capture the latter’s actual reaction —</p><p><em> Silence</em>.</p><p>“Hey, are you okay?” He attempts to reach across the table for his best friend’s hand, but he retreats, quite unsure of himself, of Jongin, of the situation they are in.</p><p>“Sorry, I zoned out and I thought I heard you say that you were pregnant?” </p><p>“...That’s right.”</p><p>“What?” The older rasped, eyes wide in panic. Pain zapped Sehun for a second, but it was quickly gone, only to be replaced with crippling anxiety.</p><p>“Look,” the younger fished for something in his pockets and produced three small, white rectangle sticks. “All of them came out positive.”</p><p>“With my child.”</p><p>“Yes,” he answered, his tone is firm and annoyed.</p><p>“Are you sure?”</p><p>Sehun leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms in front of him, ready to defend himself. “Are you sure as in ‘<em>are you sure it’s my child?’ </em> or <em> ‘are you sure that you are pregnant? </em>’. You have to be a little bit more specific, Jongin.”</p><p>“I don’t know.” He whispered, Jongin’s voice is small and full of disbelief.</p><p>“<em>What do you mean you don’t </em> –“ Sehun cuts himself. “You know what? It doesn’t matter. What are we gonna do now?”</p><p>“We?” He questioned, and it brought an unbelievable amount of annoyance to Sehun. </p><p>“I didn’t make this baby by myself, Jongin.” </p><p>The said man gave him a pointed look which the younger thinks translates to “<em>I know that I am not dumb.</em>” </p><p>Sehun shrugs.</p><p>“Do you plan on keeping it?” </p><p>Everything stops for Sehun. Time freezes, but his breathing is fast and harsh. He sees red and he feels hot all over. The young father knows what this is —</p><p>
  <em> Anger.  </em>
</p><p>Fire burns from within. It grows, turning even hotter the more he tries to contain it. His blood boils in rage, and he wants to physically do something. Anything.</p><p>“What the fuck do you mean by that?” He enunciates each world clearly and pointedly. </p><p>“We are too young for this, Sehun, and we aren’t even together. This is not… “ </p><p>Sehun thinks he has heard enough.</p><p>“I get it,” he whispers, “And in case you still haven’t figured it out, I plan to keep the baby. I don’t care if you don’t have any plans on… acknowledging him or her.”</p><p><em> Fuck</em>, he curses mentally upon realizing that he is crying. </p><p>“Sehun…”</p><p>“Sorry, I wasted your time.” </p><p>The younger promptly leaves. He wants to get away. <em> At least, he now knows</em>, Sehun reasoned out. <em> You no longer have to worry about him. </em></p><p>He placed a hand in front of his stomach, and thinks that they will be okay, as long as they have each other.</p><p>Sehun fights the tears threatening to fall once again. “We will be okay, little one. I love you already. So much.”</p><p>Disappointment comes in a little bit later. Its weight is a crippling mass pulling Sehun down. </p><p>Disappointment is hollow and empty, but for some reason, it finds its settlement inside of Sehun’s chest like a plant with nothing but thorns and venomous vines, encasing and dwindling around his heart. </p><p> </p><p>Too engrossed with watching Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Sehun doesn’t realize that someone just barged in his apartment. He has a bowl of chips perched atop his lap and a glass of chocolate shake on the table in front. </p><p>“For fuck’s sake, Sehun!”</p><p>It takes the younger quite a few seconds to register that someone is, indeed, screaming at him. Sehun turns around and he is met with Kyungsoo’s annoyed expression, hands firm on his waist. </p><p>“Oh, hey.” He blinks, chewing a little more slowly. </p><p>“Hey your face. You left the door open again!” </p><p>“... I did?”</p><p>“Yes,” Kyungsoo screams from the kitchen. Sehun follows his voice and sees the smaller man unloading groceries on his counter. “How many times do I have to tell you to always check your fucking door?”</p><p>The pregnant man tilts his head in confusion. “What are those?” He questions, earning him a pointed and annoyed stare. </p><p>“What do you think?” Kyungsoo replies sarcastically, eyes fleeting on the bowl of chips on Sehun’s hand. Even though it was just for a second, Sehun thinks that the older eyed it with disgust. </p><p>“Hey! I take care of myself, and I’m just really, really craving junk food right now!” Suddenly, he had the urge to defend himself. It doesn’t fit quite right with him, honestly—any notion or thinking that he is not taking care of himself because in effect, it implies that he is not taking care of his child. </p><p>The words, “I<em> can cook, you know? Even healthy foods!</em>” dies on his throat upon realizing that it's Kyungsoo, and Sehun doesn’t have the right to claim that he knows how to cook in the other’s presence. </p><p>It’s… blasphemous.</p><p>“I know, I know that, but I’m just really worried about you, Hun.” Kyungsoo sighed. “By the way,” he continues, sorting the items in front of him, “have you made a doctor’s appointment already?”</p><p>Sehun pales, but it leaves as quickly as it came. Only to be replaced with shame. </p><p>“I — I…” He stutters.</p><p>Quickly, Kyungsoo came to his side to guide the younger towards the couch. </p><p><em> How can I forget about that? What if, what if I already made something wrong? </em> </p><p>Thoughts swept through Sehun’s mind like a fucking hurricane. It’s a mess. He fears the uncertainty of the future, of this child’s future. With zero experience on this matter, the younger is practically blind, but he still tries to navigate amidst the darkness.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you okay now?” Kyungsoo inquired.</p><p>Sehun has his eyes closed. An empty glass rests beside him. Cracking one eye open, he chuckles, but the misery remains, lacing the sound with bitterness. <em> Is he okay now? </em></p><p>“Give me one solid reason to make me believe that I will not fuck this up…” </p><p>Silence reigns between them, and the younger can hear the whirring of the fan and the slight drag of his foot against the carpet. All these details, his heightened senses only intensify his anxiety. Sehun finds it weird, how people, all of a sudden, become receptive to details during moments like this.</p><p>“See? You can’t even say something ri—”</p><p>“Because I believe in you…” Kyungsoo interrupts, staring directly at Sehun’s eyes. The latter was rendered silent, mouth agape. His friend’s words triggered numbness within him.</p><p><em> No, it’s not numbness. </em> Sehun corrects. </p><p>It’s something akin to calmness and peace. There is a pleasant kind of silence thrumming like a song within him. It whispers, speaks of promises.</p><p>“Really? You do? You are not just saying that to calm me down? I mean, that’s kind of hard to believe considering that I’ve blanked out twice just for this week.” Sehun recalls another similar incident that occurred a couple of days ago. He winces. </p><p>Kyungsoo laughs. “You know how straightforward I am, Sehun. I never sugarcoat things. I say what’s on my mind. Do you remember that time when I told one of your suitors that he can only date you if he stopped smelling like a team of rugby players?” </p><p>It was now Sehun’s turn to cackle.<em> Good old times </em>. “Well, in my defense, he was charming and it was like a dream come true when the most wanted male in the campus asked me to be his prom date.”</p><p>“That’s disgusting, Sehun. He’s better off just as a fucking picture. I mean, we all went to puberty and had that phase when we all smelled bad, but not <em> that </em> bad. How were you able to stand being with him?” </p><p>“I breathed through my mouth?” </p><p>“Holy fuck. You are a champion.” Kyungsoo whispered in genuine disbelief. </p><p>At the back of Sehun’s mind, a thought repeated itself over and over again, <em> It’s gonna be okay. I am not alone.  </em></p><p>The younger met Kyungsoo in the summer of 1998 and Sehun was just four years old then. He had always looked up to the former because “<em> Kyungsoo hyung is amazing! He chased Hyunjae and his friends away when they tried to take my food again! </em>” </p><p>Sadly, the older man had to go abroad for his studies, leaving Sehun devastated. Still, they communicated regularly, sending each other postcards for Christmas and other holidays. </p><p>When Sehun was in college, Kyungsoo went back to Korea, and the former squealed when he found out that his friend would be staying for good. </p><p> </p><p>As a fashion consultant for models and magazines, Sehun is practically his own boss. Although he works under Privé Alliance—a company owned by his good friend, Baekhyun—he is allowed so much freedom with his craft, only going to the company’s headquarters to report every week when Baekhyun needs an update regarding a project assigned to him. </p><p>Oh, and Baekhyun is Kyungsoo’s not-really-boyfriend because both of them insist that they have no time to date despite spending a god-awful amount of time with each other… </p><p>Well, everything is just a fancy explanation as to how, <em> sometimes</em>, Sehun has so much time in his hands.</p><p>‘Sometimes’ is the key word.</p><p>Because right now? Sehun is scrambling, racing against time to meet the fucking deadline because apparently, a magazine released an issue featuring a rival brand that had the same—almost!—concept as the photoshoot Sehun is currently working on. For some fucking weird reason, the same fucking color scheme. </p><p>Both Sehun and Baekhyun are fuming because there is a possibility that this is an inside job, and they may have a snitch lurking in their territory. </p><p>And because they have to be extra careful, they have to work with a reduced manpower, only including those that they trust. Naturally, it made their jobs harder because they have to take, to compensate, and to sacrifice considering the few people working.</p><p>The past two weeks have been stressful, as they had to cram a month’s worth of preparation in 14 days. Conceptualization was particularly difficult, as all of them were fuming. They had to have several meetings because the first few ones were just full of threats and frustrations to the supposed snitch.</p><p>Well, they aren’t sure if there was really a snitch, but having a hypothetical someone to blame is a good short-term coping strategy for their anger. Of course, they have to get past that and work on their actual fucking job.</p><p>Finding an inspiration or coming up with something when you are stressed and frustrated is undoubtedly a challenging feat. It’s nerve-wracking and more often than not, it results in an immense amount of hair pulling. However, when Seulgi suggested going with something sensual, everything just clicked on Sehun. </p><p>They are working on a sleepwear collection, so it just makes sense that they would highlight vulnerability and sensuality. A model staring into the camera with half-lidded eyes, the lights are dim with a coral hue, seeming to caress his skin. The lights dance as they place kisses on the model’s skin. </p><p>And he hates it.</p><p>He hates how his work was made easier because he was imagining a certain someone while adding details to the concept. </p><p>He hates how he already has a picture of a certain someone’s eyes and body because Sehun is perfectly aware how Kim Jongin’s body is a wonder, a fucking delight. He lets out an annoyed and frustrated groan. </p><p>Kim Fucking Jongin.</p><p>Something low-key but striking. It’s unfiltered and soul-bearing. Sehun envisions that the model’s eyes and body would be the main points for this shoot. He wants to show something that tells about poetry or art in motion. How meaning can be conveyed without words. How one can create stories in just one shot, like baring too much while revealing only a little.</p><p>A thousand words through a single glance. </p><p>He imagines the readers’ reactions not as verbal expressions, but something akin to their breaths hitching and gasps leaving their mouth, as they are being drawn towards the abyss of sensuality conveyed by the power of the eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“Sehun.” While his face is planted on his desk in misery, Sehun hears Baekhyun’s voice. </p><p>“What.”</p><p>“Go home,” he whispers gently, “it’s already late. We have finished everything already.”</p><p>Sehun shakes his head stubbornly, lips jutting out in a cute manner, and Baekhyun fights back the urge to coo. </p><p><em> This baby is having a baby. </em> </p><p>“No, I still have to check on this first… and… and –“ He has always been a little <em> fussy </em>about his work, always aiming for the best because perfection is unattainable. Sehun is used to checking every detail a couple of times, but even if he has, his heart won’t be at ease until he sees the outcome of his work. </p><p>“Come on, Hun. Just go home. That’s not something that I cannot do, okay?” Sehun sighs in defeat.</p><p>“What time is it?” He asks quietly, eyeing the mess in front of him. It adds to the throbbing in his head. Keeping his desk clean has never been his strong feature.</p><p>“It’s 10:47, why?”</p><p>“Fuck,” as if on cue, his stomach grumbled. Beside him, he hears Baekhyun gasp.</p><p>“You mean you have not eaten yet?” He screeched, waking up Seulgi who was napping on her table.</p><p>Baekhyun clicks his tongue before flicking the younger’s forehead softly. “Go home, okay? You don’t need to report tomorrow…” He pauses. “Or better yet, don’t come to work until next week.” </p><p>“But hyung… The photoshoot is on Monday. I also have to oversee the final preparations.”</p><p>The older responds, tapping the younger’s face lovingly, “again, that is not something I cannot do. I am only allowing you to go to work on Monday because I know that you would want to watch the photoshoot.”</p><p>“Fine.” Sehun concedes, standing up to, somehow, tidy his work space. Baekhyun leans back on the younger’s desk.</p><p>“How’s the check up, by the way?” </p><p>He eyes Baekhyun, knowing fully well that Kyungsoo has already divulged every necessary detail and piece of information from their doctor’s visit.</p><p>“So far, I’m doing good? I guess? He just told me the things I should and shouldn’t do, and apparently, I am not allowed to have coffee for nine months.” </p><p>Baekhyun chuckles. “Well, isn’t that a good thing? Sehun, you have too much caffeine in your blood.”</p><p>The younger grumbles, “that’s not all. Oh, god. I may or may not frequently puke my guts out starting next week. I am having a baby. I’m doing a noble thing, why is my body punishing me?” Sehun laments. </p><p>“You’ll do just fine,” he assures, “Soo has told me that you’ve already been doing great.” </p><p>Sehun snorts, “Kyungsoo is a fucking liar.”</p><p>Baekhyun cackles like a fucking maniac. </p><p> </p><p>Monday came, and Sehun is sporting a terrible headache because just as expected, he started puking his guts out. It doesn’t help that the pregnant man is not a morning person, and the fact that he is not allowed to have coffee increases his misery by tenfold. </p><p>The show must go on, that even though he looks like a goddamn mess right now, he still went to oversee the photoshoot. <em> He has to. </em> On his way to the elevator, Sehun was aware of the eyes trained on him. It is not everyday that people would get to see <em> The </em>Oh Sehun wearing track pants and a baggy shirt. If he weren’t feeling shitty, he would have smirked at the people gaping stupidly at him as if he had grown an extra head. </p><p>His phone rings, and Sehun promptly answers it upon reading Baekhyun’s name. “Sehun?”</p><p>“Yes?”</p><p>“Hi, uhm. You see, there’s a problem, and –“ Baekhyun chuckles nervously, effectively annoying Sehun because this is the kind of bullshit he cannot, doesn’t have the capability to take right now.</p><p>“Just say it, Hyung,” he grumbles, stepping inside the elevator.</p><p>“Jonginisthephotographer!” Baekhyun screamed. “There, I said it!”</p><p>“What?” The younger exclaims. “Can you speak, I don’t know, a little bit slower?”</p><p>“Hand me the phone,” he hears another person speak. It’s Kyungsoo.</p><p>“Moonkyu called and said that he couldn’t make it, so he sent one of his friends instead, and apparently, it’s Jongin.”</p><p>“Oh.” Sehun whispered, trying to breathe as calm and as even as he could. “Okay.”</p><p>“Okay?” Kyungsoo paused. “‘Okay’ as in ‘Fuck that shit, I’m out?’ or ‘Fucking find another photographer, I ain’t dealing with that bastard’ kind of ‘Okay’”. </p><p>For the first time since Sehun woke up, he found a reason to laugh. “No, hyung.” He chuckles, watching the numbers on the display screen change — 4, 5, 6. “‘Okay’ as in ‘Fine, I’m cool with it.”</p><p>“Are you sure?”</p><p>Sehun hummed in affirmation, “by the way, is he there yet?” The doors of the elevator open immediately after. It revealed Jongin, the very subject of their conversation, of Kyungsoo and Baekhyun’s apprehension. <em> Speaking of the devil</em>, Sehun thinks. </p><p>He feels another onslaught of his currently intensifying headache, and Sehun does his utmost best to conceal it. </p><p>It has always been a trait of his, stubbornness and pride usually take precedence over anything. Instead, he keeps a straight face, and resorts to giving the other a curt nod. </p><p> </p><p>The shoot occupies the entire floor. At the center lies the area for the main event, and around it, people are minding their own businesses, carrying whatever thingamabob. Sehun frankly doesn’t care. It’s so unlike him, to be honest, because usually, he is one of the people who is scrambling, carrying materials, and making sure that every detail is according to plan. </p><p>But with everything that has happened to him, Sehun can’t seem to find the energy to do so. He just wants this to end. He realizes that he would take up Baekhyun's offer because with all the changes that are taking place, he needs time for himself, to sort and to reassess whatever is happening with him now. </p><p>Sehun finds Seulgi managing and directing the crew assigned to the backdrop. He stands beside her, watching the people in front of him manipulate the light and the position of the furniture according to the woman’s tastes. “So, I heard…” She starts, and it doesn’t take a genius to figure out what’s next. </p><p>“Let me guess,” he stops, bothered by a scene in front of him. “Hey, what is that doing in there?” Promptly, the crew who placed it, scrambled to take it out of Sehun’s sight. </p><p>The young man sighed, “So where was I?” He paused for a fraction of a second, “Is it about Jongin and I?” </p><p>There’s an amused glint playing in Seulgi’s eyes as she nods to Sehun’s question. “Man, I’m kind of hurt? I mean, I thought we were close enough, but apparently, we were not because I had to hear—well, overhear—this from Baek.” </p><p>“Shut up,” Sehun bumps his shoulder with her. “This is not some office chitchat or rumor that I could just casually bring up.” </p><p>Seulgi turns to face him. Many have mistaken them to be siblings because although they do not have much resemblance, people have commented about the similarity of their auras, and honestly speaking? Up until now, Sehun doesn’t know what on earth they are talking about. </p><p>“I know that, and I’m just kidding.”</p><p>Sehun snorts, “I know.” </p><p>“How’s it going?” She asks. There is a pencil curled around her hair, creating a fashionable messy bun atop her head. Perhaps, this is what people see when they say that they have similar aura because like Seulgi, he can also pull off just about anything. It’s a shame, Baekhyun once commented, that Sehun and Seulgi opt to stay behind the camera. </p><p>“Terrible,” Sehun groans. “I feel like I have finished a bottle of vodka by myself, like I have a hangover, but it’s ten times worse. I’m pretty sure I regurgitated every single meal I had yesterday this morning, and that’s not all because I have a freaking headache—as if puking in the morning isn’t enough.”</p><p>“I honestly… don’t know what to say?” </p><p> </p><p>The shoot had gone well, if Sehun may say. Of course, minor inconveniences were inevitable, but it was nothing that couldn’t be handled in a few minutes. </p><p>Despite things going smoothly and as planned, his throbbing headache has magnified more and more with each passing minute. If Sehun may be bold, he would dare claim that it is his ex-best friend’s doing.</p><p>“Sehun, you should go home now. We would be treating the staff to a meal, and as much as I want you to come, it’s already late.”</p><p>The younger nods, taking a few, steady breaths to calm his pain. He stands up then staggers a little, causing Baekhyun to let out a panicked squeak.</p><p>“Sehun,” he starts, tightly holding onto the pregnant man’s arm, “are you okay? Do you want me to take you home?”</p><p>“Don’t be silly, hyung. My legs are just numb from sitting too much. Stop worrying,” Sehun chuckles.</p><p>“Are you sure? Really, really, really sure?” </p><p>Sehun snorts, turning his back towards the other. Baekhyun gawks at the younger man who ignored him.</p><p> </p><p>“Fucking elevator rides,” Sehun mutters under his breath, as his balance falters. He tightens the coat around him, drowning in misery upon realizing that it’s the peak of rush hours, so the chances of hailing a cab is quite… low.</p><p>“Couldn’t you have wrapped yourself a little bit more?” He hears a voice from behind him. Sehun turns around to meet Jongin’s amused expression.</p><p>“What?” He asks reflexively then the question registers and schools his face to that of indifference. “Never mind, aren’t you going to the celebration dinner?”</p><p><em> The bastard has the nerve to raise his brows</em>, he scoffed internally, and the logical part of Sehun’s brain knows that it is just one of the usual gestures that Jongin makes, but the other, the much more offended and blinded by hurt, portion of his brain takes the raised brows as a form of insult. To Jongin’s misfortune, the latter is more dominant than the former.</p><p>Sehun scowls, turning his back on Jongin. He crosses his arms in front of him while tapping his foot against the pavement impatiently. The younger winces as another wave of nausea hits him, rendering him frozen on his spot. Instantly, Jongin is beside him, holding him upright. Sehun’s eyes were still closed when he heard Jongin speak. </p><p>“Hun, are you okay?” His voice was laced with worry, a warm hand caresses something inside his chest. Sehun refuses to open his eyes for two reasons: a) the lights are blinding, making his already terrible headache even more unbearable, and b) Jongin’s worried face does things to him, and right now, Sehun is indignant on ignoring the other. </p><p>“Stay away from me,” the pregnant man whispers harshly, shoving the other way. He continues to do so even if doing so much effort only served to worsen his condition.</p><p>A perfectly timed wave of nausea and pain suddenly crashed through him just as he was shoving Jongin away, rendering him lurching towards the older and the hands on Jongin’s chest changed their course, opting to grip tightly on the other instead of pushing him away. </p><p>Jongin cursing and calling his name was the last thing he registered before it all suddenly went black.</p><p> </p><p>Memory is a funny thing, Sehun concludes, but then again, there has always been a thin, surpassable veil between memory and dreams. It takes him a few seconds to add that dreams are even funnier.</p><p>
  <em> Sehun sees the younger version of himself in a place that resembles their ChemLab classroom. Oddly enough, the scene is also familiar. People are chattering here and there—"Hi, do you have a lab partner?" which is either answered by "No, can we be partners?" or "Oh, I do, it's my friend." </em>
</p><p>
  <em> After 15 minutes or so, the chaos had already died down, and Sehun should have been happy with it, but the frown on his face remains. It isn't exactly his fault that he has a resting bitch face, but Sehun swears, he isn't at all like that once you get to know him.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Resigning to a life of loneliness, he plops down begrudgingly to his chair. He feels a hand tapping his shoulder the next second and he faces the intruder with a scowl. Usually, that expression had people scrambling away in fear and while that may be an exaggeration, it gets the point across.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> It's different, however, with this stranger who only raised his brows at him and along with that is an amused smirk.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "So, I guess you'll be my lab partner?" He starts, extending his hand for Sehun to take. "I'm Kim Jongin." </em>
</p><p>
  <em> The younger tilts his head, contemplating whether or not he should take it because Jongin looks like an arrogant jock. There's just so much confidence in his body, and it makes Sehun gag, but then again, he should know better than to judge people based on their looks. After all, he is in a similar situation.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Plus, beggars can't be choosers. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "Sehun," he replies, and accepts the others hand. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Later on, Jongin drags him to an ice cream parlor, and Sehun concludes that he is nothing like what he exudes. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Since then, it has always been like that: Sehun moves and Jongin follows except when he trips; because then, the older will be there to catch him—literally and figuratively. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Sehun failed to pinpoint which came first, the cold or the sound. <em> It doesn’t really matter </em>, he concludes, wondering where the beeping sound is coming from because surely, that is not his alarm tone. He has never been a fan of the cold, always opting to be bundled in layers of sheets. In fact, he is almost sure that the next time he opens his AC, little spiders and cobwebs would fly on his face. </p><p>In the midst of his hazy state, Sehun is sufficiently conscious and aware that he is not familiar with the place, so where the fuck is he? The smell hits him a little bit later. He registers alcohol and disinfectants. Slowly, he opens his eyes, only to frown upon perceiving the white ceilings instead of the warm beige in his room. Roaming his eyes around the room, he spots a figure crouched down on the bed. <em> Jongin? </em></p><p>“Jongin?” He says aloud then promptly winces upon realizing how croaked his voice had sounded. The other quickly reacts, snapping out of his slumber. His eyes are wide, unfocused, and unsure.</p><p>“Sehun?” It shouldn’t come as a surprise to him, really—that Jongin needs quite a few seconds to zap his senses back to awareness. Seconds later, “Oh, oh, oh,” he scrambles, immediately standing up to check on Sehun closely, “you’re awake. Are you okay? Should I call the doctor? Is there anything you want?”</p><p>Sehun tugs at Jongin's arms just as he was about to go out of the room to call for the doctor because the "damn buzzer" isn't "damn working". </p><p>(Jongin's words, not his)</p><p>Immediately, the photographer stops and stares at him inquisitively. He leans forward when Sehun doesn't reply. </p><p>It's difficult to get the words out of him because he knows that once he does, he is going to fall apart—and he doesn't want that. </p><p>"I just want my best friend back," he whispers. His voice was too soft, too muffled for Jongin to even hear, but then, he heard the drag of the chair and felt the pressure of an arm draped on his waist.</p><p>It caresses him back to sleep. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>To say that their arrangement is weird is the absolute understatement of the century. Jongin would like to break down the elements of the said… ordeal:</p><ol>
<li>Sehun is his best friend,</li>
<li>Sehun is also pregnant, </li>
<li>Jongin is the father (!),</li>
<li>Jongin still hasn’t made peace with the entire situation, </li>
<li>They are living together, and;</li>
<li>They are still best friends (?). </li>
</ol><p>Jongin sighs, running his fingers through his hair carelessly. He has stopped eating for a few minutes now, only staring at the plate in front of him blankly. It’s quite a moment, Sehun thinks, had the circumstances been different because “The” Kim Jongin is ignoring his chicken—the love of his life. </p><p>“Hey,” the younger calls, breaking Jongin from his trance. The latter hummed in response, eyebrows knotting upon realizing that he has spaced out. </p><p>“Are you okay?” Sehun knows that Jongin is not, but there are certain communication rules that apply to all kinds of relationships, and in this scenario, he couldn’t just drop the bomb and ask, “<em> so, what are we going to do now? </em>” because clearly his best friend still doesn’t know what to do just yet. </p><p>“You know this is weird right?” </p><p>The younger smirked, at least Jongin is opening up to him. He leans back, pushing his plate away from him. Jongin eyes the other, he does the same as well, but he just couldn’t exude the same certainty that Sehun is displaying. The younger seems so sure, and he is having a hard time wrapping his head around that. <em> How the fuck does he do that? </em></p><p>He opened his mouth too many times than he cares to admit, but each time, Jongin finds himself trying to grovel for words to say. It might have taken him too long to come up with something to say because suddenly, he hears Sehun breaking the (too) prolonged silence. </p><p>“I am not asking you to take responsibility, Jongin.” He frowns, “I mean, not anymore. I cannot force you to do something that you do not want… or you are not ready for.”</p><p>Jongin’s expression morphs into something that resembles guilt and shame, “I am sorry,” he whispers. </p><p>Sehun smirks, once again. His voice sounds menacing when he replied, “Don’t be. I mean, that doesn’t stop me from demanding you to do your duties as my best friend. I am gonna have cravings at ass o’clock in the morning, and you will get it, no matter what.”</p><p>“Okay… I can deal with that,” Jongin replies, relaxing a bit. </p><p>“I am not done!” Sehun exclaims dramatically, holding his hand up. “You are going to spoil the fuck out of this baby, and you are going to be the best uncle for him. Well, Baekhyun hyung might fight you—”</p><p>“Wait, uncle? Why can’t he or she call me ‘Papa” or something?” Jongin frowns. </p><p>“Oh,” Sehun whispers before sighing, “I don’t want him… or her to doubt. I mean, this baby is going to ask why aren’t you with us. I don’t want them to feel unwanted.” His voice sounds regretful, and Jongin knows this is not the life that Sehun wants for… their child, but there are circumstances that will force you to settle for the second best because what is ideal is oftentimes impossible.</p><p>“I am not saying that I don’t want… him… or her,” Jongin whispers, and it’s odd because he didn’t need to think of that reply, it just came out of him because it’s true, it’s what he feels. </p><p>“Then,” Sehun starts, his tongue darting out to wet his upper lip, “do you want this child? Saying that you do not not want this isn’t the same as actually wanting this.” </p><p>Silence reigned between them. <em> It’s not? </em> Jongin thinks. He hears the drag of a chair and the sound of footsteps gradually fading. </p><p>
  <em> You have a lot of thinking to do, Kim Jongin.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>+ - + - +</p><p>
  <em> It was difficult for Jongin to imagine or even think of the time when Sehun wasn’t there.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Come to think of it, there are a lot of technicalities in their relationship that he unconsciously overlooked, that they had unmindfully forgone because with his best friend, it felt as if it was the natural thing to do.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> It has always been simple, they did not find the need or the grandeur of an adequate build up because the week after meeting each other, they decided that they would be best friends.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Implicitly, of course. Who declares: “okay, from now on, you will be my best friend!” to someone? No, that’s weird and ridiculous.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> It was also difficult to see Jongin without Sehun or Sehun without Jongin.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Since then, they have always been a team, a duo where one isn’t himself without the other. Some would even claim that they are each other’s shadow. The younger one didn't like that comment that much, Jongin remembered the slight frown Sehun sported. It was easy to miss the slight twitch of his lips, but they aren’t best friends for nothing.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “You frowned,” Jongin whispered, reaching out to remove a fallen eyelash on Sehun’s left cheek.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “What?” The younger answered, slightly backing away. His hand stopped Jongin from his previous ministrations, so from Sehun’s face, the hand dropped to his knees.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “When Minho hyung said that we are like shadows of each other…” His voice was soft, it held no malice, not even a single hint of doubt. It spoke of pure curiosity. “I think I saw you frown — why?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “We are not shadows of each other Jongin because if that’s the case, then it implies that one shines while the other is being dimmed. I don’t like that…”  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “What are we then?” Sehun stared at him for a few heartbeats before shrugging. The curtains are drawn open and they are seated by the window. Light hits Sehun’s features in a way that made him glow, in a way that made him look more serene than he already was.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I don’t know?” He frowns, once again, but it was a different kind of frown. An innocent and confused frown. It was cute, Jongin thinks, but he never tells Sehun that, for the younger has a habit of hitting people when he gets flustered, and mind you, Sehun has quite a hand.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Footprints, maybe? Like we walk the same path. “When one moves, the other follows” kind of thing…”  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Jongin likes that. A bit too much, maybe. The younger’s words made something inside him flutter, and he knows that if soulmates were real, Sehun would be his. They don’t have to be lovers—no, he doesn’t see Sehun that way. For Jongin, a soulmate could be anyone in your life as long as the feeling’s right.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Yeah?” He asks.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Yeah…” The younger replies with a smile so blinding it puts the sun to shame.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> + - + - + </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Jongin came home to a quiet household. He finds it odd because usually, he would find Sehun sprawled on the couch with a hand on his belly while the other is busy picking a snack from the bowl or something. </p><p>He walks around, looking for Sehun—in the kitchen, in the bathroom, and even on the balcony. Jongin was praying that he would not find Sehun there because it’s a common knowledge to everyone who has spent even just an hour with Sehun that the younger is incapable of keeping his body warm. Plus, it’s freezing cold out there. </p><p>Jongin’s forehead creased, wondering if Sehun was asleep already. It is unusual for the younger one to be in bed before nine in the evening. His usual sleeping time is at eleven or in the early hours of the morning, but he is under strict orders—<em> implemented and decreed by Jongin, of course </em>—that he should be asleep by ten in the evening. </p><p>(He remembers typing a silly and overly-formal message in their chatroom: </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p><span class="u">jongnini</span>🐻💓</p>
  <p>Greetings! This is to inform you about the new rule in this household. Pregnant people should be asleep by 10 o'clock. Disobedience will be punished seriously. </p>
  <p><span class="u">hun</span>🐥💓</p>
  <p>what will u do if i don't follow? I'm 26 ! ! ! ! you CAN;T make me do that!</p>
  <p><span class="u">jongnini</span>🐻💓</p>
  <p>I'll hide my stash of chocolates and I will change my Netflix password 😏🙃</p>
  <p><span class="u">hun</span>🐥💓</p>
  <p>I WILL SHATTER YOU LIKE GLASS JONGIN DON'T YOU DARE</p>
</blockquote><p>)</p><p>He trudged carefully towards Sehun’s door because although the younger is a heavy sleeper, Jongin doesn’t want to take the risk of having to be on the receiving end of his wrath. Sehun can be pretty evil—literally pretty and evil—when his peaceful sleep gets interrupted. Jongin was greeted with the sight of Sehun reading… a math book… out loud? </p><p>“<em> This implies that the negation of the conjunction of s and r is the same with the disjunction of the negation of p and the negation of q. </em>” </p><p>“Sehun, what are you doing?” There’s an amused smirk dancing on his lips. </p><p>“Oh, hey.” </p><p>“So,” Jongin gestures to the book perched atop Sehun’s lap. “I asked you a question, you know.”</p><p>“I am just reading the <em> baby </em> a book.” </p><p>“About Math…” </p><p>Jongin took note of Sehun’s confused expression, and he is probably wondering what is wrong with reading a math book for their baby. He smiles fondly, observing the younger a little more. Sehun is wearing a navy blue silk pajama, it’s a pair that the photographer recognizes.</p><p>“You’re wearing my gift,” he points out, resting his back against the wall. “Anyway, what made you think that she would love Math like you do?”</p><p>Sehun likes—no, loves—Math. It remains a question to Jongin, honestly, why Sehun didn’t pursue a career related to the said subject. </p><p>
  <em> “Then college would be too easy for me, Jongin. I want to do something different, and you told me I have an excellent fashion sense.,” he remarked cheekily. Sehun knows that he is damn good with numbers, and he has no qualms bragging about it. If that isn’t obvious.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Jongin rolls his eyes. “Sehun, I told you that you dress up well, but fine, Mr. Smart Pants. If that’s what you want.”  </em>
</p><p>“No, I am just reading something, so that baby would recognize my voice. I didn’t want to read ‘The Three Little Pigs’ because it sounds so stupid.”</p><p>“You realize that she would eventually ask you to read her stories like that, right?” Jongin plops down on Sehun’s bed, and the younger man promptly glares at him. His previous statement was left unanswered, as Sehun (not-so) gently pushed him off the bed. </p><p>“What the hell?”</p><p>“No outside clothes on my bed!” He exclaims, dusting the area where Jongin’s was previously seated.</p><p>‘<em> This is my house </em>’ was at the tip of his tongue. </p><p>“What? Why?”</p><p>“You are dirty!” Jongin made a sound of protest and disbelief, but he refrained himself from answering back upon realizing Sehun’s glare. </p><p>“You know, what? Fine!” Raising his hands up in mock surrender. “Don’t sleep on me, yet. I’ll be back.”</p><p> </p><p>Jongin realized that he should’ve asserted more. It was his house for pete’s sake! Sehun can be shameless at times. It’s a blessing and a curse, he thinks. Because to have Sehun act that way, it means that he has invested his trust on you, and there is his unwavering loyalty. Even at gunpoint, Jongin muses, Sehun would stare unblinkingly at death’s eyes if it meant keeping a promise to a friend. </p><p> </p><p><em> “Don’t sleep on me, yet. I’ll be back.” </em> It plays continuously at the back of his mind, and it’s only  later that Jongin realizes what his statement implies—that he is going to sleep in Sehun's room. Ever since the younger was discharged from the hospital, he has been staying at Jongin’s apartment. </p><p>It's much more ideal than Sehun's place. The younger had too many neighbors, and always forgets to lock the door. Besides, Jongin's place is bigger, and he prides himself for that. It is, after all, the first thing he invested in upon acquiring a hefty amount of savings. </p><p>He is a photographer, alright, and with that comes along his love for scenery, light, shadows, and movement. Jongin made sure that he would have even a little bit of everything in his home. </p><p>With that, he co-designed a two storey apartment which was too much for someone living the bachelor life, if Jongin is being honest. He didn't fancy the idea of walls, and that is why his space was generally an open concept. The hardwood floors and white walls magnified the space and created an illusion of it being wider—not that it isn't big enough already. </p><p>"Hun?" Jongin peeped inside the younger's room, finding him snoring lightly with the book splayed haphazardly on his chest. </p><p>The photographer settled carefully beside the younger, chuckling upon hearing the small whine from when he tried to pry the book out of Sehun’s hold.</p><p>"Nini?"</p><p>
  <em> Ah, he seemed to have woken the younger up.  </em>
</p><p>"Shhh," he whispered, a fond smile on his lips. "It's me. Go back to sleep." He reached out to run a hand across Sehun's hair, and a sense of nostalgia washed over him because it was still the softest thing Jongin has ever had the privilege to hold. </p><p> </p><p>Jongin woke up to the muffled sounds coming from the bathroom. Dismissing it as the wind (or whatever—it’s ass o’clock in the morning, he doesn’t give a damn), he reaches for the younger only to find his spot empty. Confused, he pushes himself up to check the time: 4:48 AM. </p><p>
  <em> Where the fuck is Sehun? </em>
</p><p>Groaning, the said man walks sluggishly towards the bathroom. His steps are heavy and devoid of the usual grace he carries. Jongin is a heavy sleeper, and it is a wonder, even for him, how the faint noises were able to wake him up.</p><p><em> Apparently, Jongin gives a damn </em>. </p><p>He finds Sehun hunched over the toilet bowl—pale, almost white hands gripping tightly on either side. It takes Jongin quite a few seconds to realize what is happening, and he drops almost instantly on Sehun’s side. Trepidation came in the form of rushed breaths, panicked eyes, and shaky voice. </p><p>“H-Hun-ah, Sehunnie,” Jongin whispers, “Are you okay? D-Do you feel sick? Should I bring you to the hospital?” Instead of a response, Sehun pushes him away and retches even more, rendering Jongin with a feeling of helplessness. He tries to ease Sehun’s pain by caressing the younger’s back gently and wiping the sweat dotting his forehead, but it does nothing to ease his anxiety. </p><p>After what seemed like years, the younger’s sickness stopped, but he remains pale, sweaty, and extremely lethargic. Jongin wets the towel he was holding and wipes the sweat off Sehun’s forehead. He notices two bottles of water near the sink and grabs one for the younger. </p><p>Sehun drinks it all in one go. His hands, Jongin notices, are cold and trembling—from exhaustion, probably. He closes his eyes, taking a few, deep breaths. “Nini, did I wake you up?” </p><p>“Did you wake –” he stops, “Sehun, that’s not important right now. How are you feeling? Do you want me to bring you to the hospital? Are you sick? Hurt?” His rambling came to a halt at the sound of Sehun’s snort. </p><p>“Jongin, I’m pregnant,” he whispers weakly, an amused smile gracing his lips. Normally, that would be enough to reassure him; after all, Sehun alone is already a calming presence in his life. </p><p>“Yes, and?” </p><p>“This is normal. This happens to some people…” </p><p>“No, it doesn't!” Jongin immediately rebuffs. </p><p>“How do you know? Have you been pregnant before?” Sehun’s voice is raspy and weak. His throat must have been too worn out from all the physical effort he had made a while ago. </p><p>“No, but –” </p><p>“Then shut up and go back to sleep,” he hissed. </p><p>“No, I’ll wash you up first. Can you stand up?” Sehun snorts at his questions, and Jongin knows that it translates to, “<em>are you stupid or are you stupid?</em>” He takes one of the younger’s arms and places it around his shoulder. With a hand on Sehun’s waist, Jongin pulls the younger gently, bringing him close to the sink. </p><p>He whines upon seeing his reflection on the mirror, “Fuck, I look horrible. Oh, God.”</p><p>“No, you don’t. Stop being dramatic.” Jongin chuckles. His words are true, and he doesn’t give much thought to how and why he still finds Sehun beautiful even though he looks paper-fucking-white and a nasty snot is running down his nose. </p><p>“This is all your fault,” Sehun grumbles while washing his face. “You got me fucking pregnant. I feel horrible.” Something heavy settles on his chest. Jongin grabs the younger, caging him in an embrace, and almost instinctively, Sehun drops his forehead at the other’s shoulder. He gravitates closer, clutching at Jongin’s shirt. </p><p>“I know, I’m sorry. Let’s get you back to bed, okay?” </p><p> </p><p>Almost two hours later, Jongin finds Sehun in the kitchen. A cup of coffee that Jongin knows all too well sits quietly on one end of the table. Seconds after, Sehun brings him three pieces of toasted bread—the two have chocolate as their spread while the other has peanut butter. It’s always different each day. </p><p>Yesterday, Sehun prepared pancakes with blueberry and maple syrup. The day before that, they had tuna omelette. Jongin grins, recalling the spontaneous sleepovers they had in college, and he would always wake up to a table full—well, not really—of delicious, heavy breakfast. </p><p>Sehun smiles upon noticing the excitement in his eyes. “Jongin, you freaking glutton.”</p><p>“Can’t help it. My best friend’s such a great cook.” </p><p>“It’s literally just fucking bread, Jongin. What are you on?” Sehun laughs, and honestly, it sounds stupid, but Jongin likes—no, loves—hearing that sound. It’s bright, genuine, and warm like Sehun is. The younger’s eyes crinkle and turn into beautiful crescents when he laughs or smiles, and the sight never fails to bring heat to his chest. </p><p>“But! Your compliments will get you nowhere. Pay up, bitch.”</p><p>Jongin gasps, appearing to realize something. His facial expression conveyed betrayal and accusation. Sehun looks at him blankly. “You just said she could hear you! Stop cursing in front of her.”</p><p>There’s a pause, just a brief two seconds where Sehun is just looking at him blankly before rolling his eyes. Suddenly, Sehun’s eyes were teasing and playful, like thousands of fireflies dancing playfully in the night. </p><p>“So, when did we establish that this baby would be a girl?”</p><p>He stops, body going rigid. Jongin doesn’t know, frankly. “Oh, father’s intuition, I guess?”</p><p>Sehun responds with a bewildered expression, as if he couldn’t believe he just heard those words from Jongin. “Father’s intuition, my ass. You sound stupid. I am the one carrying the baby.”</p><p>“Sehun, stop cursing.” Jongin glared at him.</p><p>“Fine, whatever.” He rolls his eyes. “Why do you think the baby would be a girl?” Sehun asks casually, sipping on his glass of freshly-squeezed orange juice. </p><p>Jongin pauses, eyes transfixed on Sehun. He sighs, after approximately three beats. “Nothing, I just imagined she would look like you.”</p><p> </p><p>+ - + - +</p><p>
  <em> Jongin is sick, and it isn’t just the usual cold he gets. Instead, it’s a full blown one, that kind where his body feels like shit, his nose is clogged, his head hurts, and he cannot, for the love of all that is good and holy, taste anything. But more than that, Jongin is a prideful asshole, and of course, he wouldn’t ask for help. He could be dying right now, and yet, he will still refuse to call anyone.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> It goes without saying that Jongin’s sense of self-preservation is rather… dysfunctional. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Moments like this make Jongin realize what bestfriends are for. Because right now, Sehun is screaming at him as if he is some deranged maniac. Jongin could vaguely make out words such as stupid, dying, sick, and prideful.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> He decides that whatever the younger is saying, he is probably right.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Moments like this also made Jongin realize that Sehun is shit at taking care of sick people. He appreciates the efforts, however, because just the thought that even though the younger doesn’t have even a single bit of idea on how the whole process works, he still tried. For Jongin.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> He woke up to the sight of Sehun hunched near his bed, the younger’s head resting on a small pillow. The next thing he registers is the fact that he is naked, it made him chortle quietly. “Oh Sehun, you pervert”. It isn’t actually a secret that Sehun finds him hot. The younger one confessed. Several times.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> In his drunken state. Go figure that out.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Relatively speaking, he knows that his temperature has dropped to a much better range now, but there is still a hint of warmth that is beyond normal. Jongin reaches out to remove the stray strands of hair covering the younger’s face.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Thank you,” he whispered, even though he knew that the younger couldn’t hear him. Jongin sighed. “Okay, let’s get you to bed.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Hours later, Jongin would find Sehun screaming at him once again. “Kim Jongin, what the hell?! Why aren’t you in bed?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And it isn’t a coincidence that this moment, right here, is what made Jongin realize that he is going to keep Sehun in his life. No matter what.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Good morning to you, my dear.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Fuck you,” Sehun retorted before dragging him back to his room only to wrap him like a fucking burrito in his own blanket.  </em>
</p><p>+ - + - +</p><p> </p><p>“Kris?” Jongin calls upon opening the glass door to his boss’ office. “You called for me?” Kris points at the chair in front of him, and Jongin promptly sits down. The office is quite small for someone who owns the company, but then again, Kris isn’t really after the grandeur. “As long as it works, then it’s fine” has always been one of his life’s principles.</p><p>To some extent, Jongin agrees with Kris, but there are gray areas that need to be considered. First of all, the definition of “fine” is relative. Second, modernization has allowed technological efficiency and productivity. But, sure, whatever floats his boat. </p><p>“Oh, I am assigning you to a project with Elle Magazine.” </p><p>Jongin tilts his head in confusion, not really sure why his boss called him for this when Kris just usually sends him an email. His boss leans back to his chair, as if contemplating on his words. </p><p>“This project is different.”</p><p>“How so?”</p><p>“It’s a documentary type of project. They want you to be there every step of the way.” </p><p>“From conceptualization to the actual shoot?” He inquires, finding it quite odd, but then, he is aware that the pay is going to be larger than the usual, so who is he to complain? </p><p>“They kind of have a concept already, actually?” He pauses, and Jongin raises his eyebrows at him. “Something related to spring, blossoming, and everlasting.” </p><p>Suddenly, Jongin finds himself thinking of Sehun. </p><p> </p><p>According to the clock situated on his bedside table, it’s 5:28 AM. Jongin wonders if he can consider himself as a changed person considering that he has been consistently waking up at god-awful hours in the morning. </p><p>Jongin doesn’t even need to check to know that Sehun isn’t beside him. Ever since he discovered Sehun’s morning sickness, he started sleeping with the younger. Literally, of course. In bed. With their eyes closed. </p><p>He couldn’t even hear the usual sounds that come from the bathroom, so what woke him up? Lazily, Jongin stood up and went to check the bathroom just for the sake of it. He frowned in confusion, but decided to widen his scope. Upon opening the door of Sehun’s bedroom, he realized that he didn’t have to go that far because a) his bedroom door is open, and b) he can hear sounds coming from the inside. </p><p>Jongin sighs upon seeing the younger’s condition. It’s still the same: Sehun hunched over the toilet while puking his guts out, but even though he has seen this for several times already, it doesn’t lessen the pain and heaviness that he feels each time. </p><p>“You have been puking for days now,” Jongin mumbled, wiping the sweat off the younger’s temples. “I thought this was a one time thing.”</p><p>Sehun chortled, cracking one eye open. “Don’t be ridiculous, Jongin. This isn’t a one night stand.” </p><p>He flicked Sehun’s forehead lightly. “Silly, come on. Let’s get you back to bed.” Jongin was about to carry the younger—yes, he carries Sehun, but sometimes, he just helps him up—when he feels a tug on the hem of his shirt. He pauses, staring at Sehun intently. </p><p>“Sorry, I used your bathroom. I didn’t want to wake you up anymore, so I went here instead of mine.”</p><p>A lump formed in his throat at the younger’s confession. He bites his lip to divert that unfamiliar emotion somewhere else. He needed to feel something else, so he wouldn’t focus much on that. </p><p>“Sehun.”</p><p>“Hmmm?” </p><p>“Don’t do that again, okay? You can wake me up whenever you want…” He stops, sensing his emotions—unnamed and unknown—getting stronger. “Just don’t… do that again.”</p><p>He guided the younger back to his bed, the one in Jongin’s room. Jongin would usually go back to sleep once the younger settles beside him, but for some reason, he couldn’t do that right now. </p><p>It’s 5:44 in the morning, and Jongin is just looking at Sehun. He doesn’t know why, but oddly enough, seeing the younger on his bed, in his bedroom felt disturbingly right. </p><p>He thinks about Sehun’s actions and its implications, or how it was normal for the younger to go out of his way just to ensure other’s comfort even if it meant sacrificing his own. Jongin is probably one of the people who is privileged enough to see past the misconceptions about Sehun. He isn’t the intimidating, uncaring, and selfish asshole people have painted him to be. </p><p>Sehun’s just… reserved and guarded, but when he gives, he gives it all. Jongin is aware of the sacrifices that Sehun has made and he knows, without even the slightest hint of certainty, that Sehun doesn’t regret turning his back on several opportunities and if Sehun can go back in time, he wouldn’t change a thing because it meant happiness for the people he cares about. </p><p>Jongin remembers that Sehun was once offered a two-month internship for a small but rising high-end boutique in London. It was selfish of him, but he wished that Sehun wouldn’t go, that he would decline, but he never voiced that out because he knows that his best friend’s talents deserve to be known and recognized. </p><p>Three days before his flight, he received a text from Sehun informing him that he dropped out of the program because his cousin gave birth to a preemie who had to undergo several surgeries due to his underdeveloped organs, thus they need money. </p><p> </p><p>An hour later, Sehun starts to wake up, but Jongin still hasn't had a wink of sleep. He observes the younger, takes note of his eyes moving behind his eyelids then his eyebrows meeting together then his lips frowning. </p><p>“Good morning,” Jongin breathlessly mutters. </p><p>The smile that Sehun gives in reply is too blinding, too warm, and too bright. He cracks one eye open, and pokes Jongin affectionately on his nose. </p><p>For as long as he can remember, Jongin always found mornings displeasing, always preferring to wake up almost at noon, but then again, Sehun’s talent has always been accidentally or intentionally being the exception to every rule and belief that Jongin has made throughout the years of his existence. </p><p>Because right now, Sehun is the epitome of a Christmas morning, and if there is a holiday that takes the top spot as Jongin’s favorite, it’s Christmas. </p><p>“Good morning,” Sehun replies back with a smile, his voice quite hoarse from sleep. Jongin burns this sight of Sehun in his mind. “Sorry, I keep on waking you up at ass hours in the morning. I know you are tired from work, and –”</p><p>“Sehun,” he interjects, cupping Sehun’s cheeks, “It’s okay. I’m here. Always.” There are words that Jongin wanted to say at that moment, but he doesn’t know what they are. </p><p>“I know, and I’m thankful for that.” Sehun pushes his body closer to him, but it is Jongin who pulls him even closer until they are skin to skin. Minutes later, he felt Sehun’s breath fanning across his chest, and it caressed him back to unconsciousness. </p><p> </p><p>Although Sehun insisted that puking is a common manifestation during pregnancy (and he is most probably right), Jongin still demanded that they visit the doctor. Just in case. Also, Sehun’s a little grumpy today, and by little, it means a whole lot. </p><p>“Hey, is this your first checkup?” <em> Wrong question </em>, Jongin thought, as he witnessed how Sehun’s expression morphed to that of exasperation. “Okay,” he drawled, “Then it’s not.”</p><p>“Jongin,” Sehun starts, tugging his hand out of Jongin’s hold. “I don’t think they would be able to accommodate us. We should have given them a call first.”</p><p>“But we’re here already, Hun.” He frowned, renewing his grasp on the other. “Let’s just knock, and if they’re full. Let’s ask for an appointment.”</p><p>As it turns out, one of the scheduled patients cancelled his appointment. Jongin smirked at the younger, and he could tell that Sehun wanted to punch the smirk off his face. </p><p>“Sehun, dear. You are looking good. Is there… any problem?” She trailed, eyeing Jongin, as she had not seen him during the younger’s last check up. </p><p>“Hello, Doctor Kwon. This is Jongin, and he is my best friend, unfortunately. Coincidentally, he is also the problem,” the younger replied cheekily. </p><p>Jongin ignores his statement and the way he rolled his eyes when he asserted to assist Sehun in sitting down. </p><p>“I was just wondering, is puking every morning normal for a pregnant person? He has been doing it for several days now, and I’m worried that my ch –” He halts, cutting himself off. “Yeah, that’s about it. I’m just worried.”</p><p>Sehun caught that word. Jongin was about to say “child”, and even though Jongin’s role in this baby’s life has been established, he still couldn’t avoid the blunt knife that has embedded itself into his chest. </p><p>The truth has always lacked mercy, opting to expose the scars and weapons it hides. Some truths bring relief while some are heavy, burning itself at the back of one’s lids, and even with eyes closed, the truth remains, taunting and mocking. </p><p>
  <em> He will ignore it. He has to.  </em>
</p><p>“It’s normal like I already told him.” Sehun nudged jabbed Jongin on his side at the doctor’s statement. The latter calmly held the other on his arm to prevent further attacks. “But we still have to be extra-careful and vigilant. This is Sehun’s first pregnancy, and we are still closely monitoring how his body will adjust to the baby.” </p><p>Jongin’s heart dropped. The doctor’s words spoke of alarm, it alerted Jongin of danger. “W-What do you mean? Will Sehun be okay?” </p><p>“OR,” Sehun interjected, pinching the other man on his side, “you can ask me that: ‘Sehun, are you okay?’. I am literally just beside you, dumbass.” </p><p>“Sehun,” he whined, dropping his head dramatically in frustration, “Stop cursing in front of her.”</p><p>“No, it’s okay.” The doctor assured him, even though it was apparent that she was confused. </p><p>“He meant the baby, doc,” Sehun supplied, an amused glint in his eyes. </p><p>“Oh,” Doctor Kwon giggled. “Well, if that’s the case, I certainly hope that she would look like Sehun.”</p><p>“She will, of course,” Jongin beams before turning his attention to Sehun. “Right, Sehunnie?” </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Yoona, Taemin, and Jongdae work for a magazine and they hired Jongin to be the photographer for a new release.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>One of the most memorable events in the course of their friendship was the first time that they fought. It was something that Jongin wishes to forget, but it’s always there, heavy and prominent no matter how hard he pushes it at the back of his mind. There are some truths, some words that once spoken, it will change your life forever.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Back then, Jongin was dating a pretty woman named Hyeji. He could actually see himself having a committed and relatively longer relationship with her. She was fantastic, knew her boundaries well, and never asked for more than what Jongin could give. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Things were going well, so one could only imagine Jongin’s surprise when Hyeji broke up with him on their date night before Jongin’s birthday.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They didn’t fight or anything, Hyeji smiled the entire night and even reciprocated his kisses. Suffice to say, Jongin hadn’t seen the bomb coming. At all. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Hey,” Hyeji starts, biting her lip in obvious hesitation. Jongin thought that she would drop a cheesy confession or something of the same degree. “You’re a great guy, Jongin, and I really, really wish for us to be something more than just friends, but we have to stop this.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Jongin laughed, boisterously. The one that resounded scandalously enough to wake the entire neighborhood. He laughed, but Hyeji didn’t. It faded slowly, but the tense atmosphere spiked up, along with the beating of his heart. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Wait, you’re serious?” His pitch raised by a few notches. “D-Did I do something? Was I too fast? Should I –”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“No,” Hyeji chuckled. “You still don’t realize, do you?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“What?” She regards him, calculatingly. It was really unnerving, for it seemed as if she knew something that Jongin didn’t. “What?” He repeats.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Hyeji releases a breath before shaking his head. “You are stupidly and deeply in love with your best friend.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“What?!” That caught Jongin off guard. If his laugh a while ago had been boisterous; well, this one would easily take the cake. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Dumbass, I’m serious. Think about it, Jongin. Just… think about it carefully. Who are you spending your birthday with?” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Then it clicked. “Is that what brought this on? Because I am spending my actual birthday with Sehun and not with you? I can cancel it, if you want. I mean, Sehun wouldn’t mi–”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“No,” She bemoaned, clearly irritated. “Are you that dumb or what? You are in love with your best friend, and the sooner you realize that, the better it will be for everybody.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Hyeji,” Jongin uttered firmly, holding the other tightly on either arm. “I am really not in love with Sehun, and that would only happen if pigs start flying. So can you please drop this already?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Jongin, nothing’s going to change my mind. I am sure of it. You are in love with him.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And so, Jongin spent the night drowning himself with vodka which was a brave move considering how he has a low tolerance for alcohol. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Rise and shine, Kim Jongin!” Sehun shrieked because that is what a normal person does to wake another up. Jongin groaned, covering his eyes with a pillow, but it was soon snatched away from him by his best friend. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Sehun.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh Sehun. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Again, he made a sound of despair upon recalling last night’s events. I am not in love with this bloody idiot. Fire burns within him, fueled by his intent to prove Hyeji that she is wrong. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Jongin! Wake up! Wake up!” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Oh Sehun, will you fucking shut up?!” Jongin screams, sitting in an upright position as he did. But because Sehun is Sehun, the younger simply giggled at the wrath that he just unleashed. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Oh. Someone’s grumpy. Hmm, something happened with Hyeji.” Jongin felt the bed bouncing, and the next thing he feels is a hand gently running through his hair. “What is it?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“None of your biz,” Jongin huffs, adamant on ignoring the other. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“C’mon, I am your best friend. You can tell me anything.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But the thing is, Jongin is a helpless fool against his emotions. Anger is the mocking smile that taunts his rationality, and even the most righteous man can be overtaken by spite. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Then start acting like it, and stop putting your nose to where it doesn’t belong.” He snaps, voice harsh and almost cutting. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>There’s a pause, and guilt creeps into Jongin’s system, but it isn’t enough, emotions are powerful creatures, turning the most rational men into puppets submissive to their will. He has been hurt alright, and it is most certainly not justifiable, but with this feeling in tow, he wanted to retaliate and inflict pain. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Jongin, you are being an asshole right now.” He detected hurt in Sehun’s voice, but he didn't care. He had a point to prove, and he will do it no matter what it takes. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Oh, yeah?” He replies, mockingly. “At least, I have friends other than you.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>That was a low blow, Jongin. He bites his lip, contemplating whether to apologize or not. He wonders if the worst of men feel remorse over their actions, if they ever repent and think that their actions are immoral. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Do they ever reach a point of nefariousness and immediately back away because even this level of wickedness is beyond them, is beyond their principles? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He thinks he might have heard Sehun sniffle. “Okay, I’ll just go,” Sehun whispers, but his voice was devoid of the radiance it usually held. “Happy birthday, Jongin.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It has been three weeks since they talked, since that incident. Ever since that day, Jongin lives in a world of monotony and constantly walks on thin, fucking ice. The world is monotonous, it lacks color, it lacks the emotions, the feelings it usually held. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Sehun is seated three tables from him. He exhales, trying to get rid of the heaviness in his chest. Something didn’t feel right. Something was missing. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Someone important. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The watch on his wrist gave him hope. It was the younger’s birthday gift for him, and he never takes it off</span>
  </em>
  <span>—</span>
  <em>
    <span>except of course when he takes a bath. Jongin has gone extra lengths to make sure that Sehun sees it. Heck, he even raised his hands during class. Jongin never did that, and that was a known fact because Mr. Kang blanked out for a whole two seconds before calling his name. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It was during the second week of their silent war that Sehun became friends with Baekhyun. He is one year ahead of him and Sehun, so it’s quite a surprise how the ordeal happened. Baekhyun with his pretty face and perfect hands. The genius musician whose voice outshines the emotions of the lyrics. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Baekhyun laughs, unrestrained and outrageously obnoxious, but he didn’t care if several heads whipped onto his direction just to give him a look of annoyance. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Jongin observes Sehun quietly. The younger was laughing, mouth hanging open and eyes disappearing. It was careless, too careless actually, but it was genuine and it held Sehun’s warmth. Still, it didn’t feel right, seeing Sehun there, cackling with someone he met literally just days ago. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He stares at his chicken intently, and it didn’t take him a second to decide that he doesn’t have an appetite. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Like everybody else, Jongin has an annoying habit of focusing on his phone while walking. People always scold him for doing that, but he has a huge trust on his fast reflexes which has  never failed him. As far as he is concerned, that is. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Still, Jongin should’ve known better. After all, walking and cellphones do not go really well and they should not, in the first place, go together. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>His previous episodes of being able to balance himself immediately and not drop anything after a collision were probably just episodes of luck. Surely, Jongin had no problem holding onto his luck, but the problem is: he seems to have ran out of it. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Because right now, he is doing just that. His hand is uncaringly tucked in one of the pockets of his jeans. He was walking in front of one of the building’s intersections when he felt a light force smacking towards him. The other person suddenly let out a tiny “oomph” and Jongin’s head suddenly snapped to meet the person he bumped into. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Sorry. I wasn’t lo –” Sehun froze mid-sentence and his eyes widened for a fraction of a second. “Oh, it’s you.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yeah,” Jongin chuckled, nervously. His heart was pounding abnormally fast (probably from anticipation, or some deadly heart condition), but oddly enough… he felt happy. “It’s me.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I better go,” Sehun said quietly. Jongin’s heart plummeted to the ground. It’s been weeks since he has seen the younger this close. He drinks in the sight of Sehun to replenish the drought in him. The wind runs through Sehun’s hair and Jongin catches a whiff of his scent. He fights the urge to lean in, to be closer. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Hey,” Jongin butts in, blocking Sehun’s way. “W-Where are you going?” He tried to make it sound as casual as possible, tried to hide the panic that is eating him. Although Jongin can tell, as much as he refuses to admit, that he isn’t doing a very good job. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Bathroom,” the other answered, tilting his head. “Excuse me.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Sehun, wait!” Nope, there’s no room for hiding the panic. “Let’s go together. I am headed there as well.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Liar. Jongin is a fucking liar. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“No, you are not. You were headed to the north wing.” That was the truth, but Jongin is desperate. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Change of plans.” Jongin grins. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Sehun’s wearing a purple woolen sweater that is quite loose for his lithe body. The younger was two steps ahead of him, but he realizes that he doesn’t mind as long as Sehun’s near him. Jongin should have thought this through. He was planning to do something, actually, but the original idea was to surprise Sehun next week. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Still, an opportunity is an opportunity, and Jongin’s not dumb to let this pass. He is dumb, but only on certain ocassions. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Sehun,” he starts, reaching out to clutch the younger’s arm gently. “I’m –”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“No.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“What?” He squawks, offended, </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“If you are planning to apologize, don’t do it in the bathroom.” Sehun’s face scrunched up, as if remembering something. “Actually, don’t do it this week. I am still mad at you.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Okay,” he replied, breathlessly, “But before you go,” Jongin stops, regarding Sehun attentively, and before the younger could even ask what’s going on, Jongin has him encased in his arms. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I miss you,” he confessed, tightening his hold around the younger’s waist, and reprieve came in the form of being once again granted to privilege to be close to Sehun. “So much. I won’t say sorry right now, but I promise that I will make it up to you.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He really should have thought this through. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think that’s it for the day. I am sorry for having you work overtime, and thank you for your hard work,” the creative director announced. Immediately, people are scrambling to get out of their seats, greeting each other goodbye and uttering half meant pleasantries. Jongin smiles at the people he passed by, replying mindlessly to their words. If it isn’t obvious, he has been dying to go home, and hopefully, the traffic wouldn’t be as bad as it usually is. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>In hindsight, he should’ve been more specific because the traffic isn’t really as bad—that much is true. The problem is that it’s even worse, and it’s official: the universe hates him. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Abhor is a more suitable term,</span>
  </em>
  <span> Jongin comments in his mind, because the typical thirty-minute ride became an hour and forty. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jongin spotted a plate with a sticky note on it when he had set his eyes to the kitchen. He didn’t waste any time, and promptly trudged towards the object of his curiosity. It took him only a few seconds to recognize that it was Sehun’s handwriting. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>you’re late :&lt; and you were not answering my messages !!! be thankful you are my bff and i love you. eat well, nini!!!</span>
  </em>
  <span>”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just like that, he is already grinning like a fucking idiot, and perhaps, the universe doesn’t hate him too much. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Waking up at four-something in the morning has been a change that Jongin is slowly getting used to, but it is an entirely different story when it is just two in the morning. Then again, sleeping next to Sehun for quite some time now has rewired a portion of Jongin’s system such that his body senses the younger or rather, the lack of Sehun beside him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jongin is lying face down, both of his arms are spread carelessly across the span of the bed, but then in his unconscious mind, he knew that something was amiss. Gradually, his senses come back to him, and amidst his blurred vision, he realizes that the younger isn’t beside him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sehun?” He absentmindedly calls for the other while lifting himself off the bed. The blanket descends smoothly from his body down to the bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck.” He registers a voice hissing, and Jongin’s attention snapped towards the direction of the door. “H-Hi!” Sehun squeaked, visibly caught in the act… of whatever he is about to do. His eyes trail at the younger for a while before noting that something is wrong. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jongin frowns. “Where are you going?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Go to sleep,” Sehun deflects with a nervous smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sehun, where are you going?” He repeats, voice firmer this time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“To the store?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“At this hour?” Jongin’s eyes land on the clock on his bedside table. “Why?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The younger bites his lips, and the other could tell that he is contemplating on whether or not he would divulge the reason to Jongin. The latter clicks his tongue in annoyance. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sehun, why are you going to the store at this hour?” The said man mumbled something, but the thing is, Jongin isn’t fully functional yet. “What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I want… ice cream,” he admits, voice lowering down to a whisper at the last words. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jongin couldn’t stop mirth from manifesting in his expression. “Then, why didn’t you say something?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You were asleep. I know I told you that I will wake you up at ass o’clock in the morning </span>
  <em>
    <span>back then</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but I also know that you are tired, so I didn’t want to wake you up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, go back to bed then.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, Jongin,” Sehun whined, “I told you I want ice cream!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, I am getting it for you. Go back to bed.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Never in his life has Jongin dreamed of waking up at two in the morning for someone else’s craving, but then again, this is Sehun, he reasons out. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Rules don’t apply to him.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Exhibit A: Never sleep with your friends. Clearly, that rule has been devastatingly broken, left in a ditch to rot. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It tastes really good. Where did you get this?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jongin could only smile at the sight in front of him. “Does it really?” Sehun nods. “There’s a newly opened store down the road, and apparently, they sell homemade ice cream.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jongin,” Sehun starts, his orbs gleaming with mischief.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With his eyebrows raised, he replied, “Hmmm?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you get another one for me tomorrow?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jongin peered at him for a moment before smirking. “No”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jongin! I am going to pay you,” Sehun complained. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Too much sweets is not good for you and </span>
  <em>
    <span>our</span>
  </em>
  <span> baby. I’ll get one for you next week,” he reasoned out while reaching for a tissue to wipe the stain at the side of Sehun’s lips, but upon lifting his gaze back up, the younger is gaping at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What? Why are you looking at me like that?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing.” Sehun’s orbs were solemn, it reflected the light on their bedside table, and Jongin thinks that this is the definition of home and comfort. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Approximately, forty minutes later, Jongin settles Sehun back to bed, much to the younger’s disapproval. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jongin, I can do it myself!” He protests, “I am not a baby.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure?” He replies teasingly, sinking beside the younger. Instantly, Sehun gravitates closer to Jongin, and all has been forgotten. The younger’s feet are cold (probably, an understatement) and the only logical explanation to this is the younger dipped his feet into the Antarctic Sea. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re so warm. How are you so warm?” Sehun mumbles, earning a chuckle from the other. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Jongin is not. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Sehun is just abnormally cold. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>They both release a silent exhale, as comfort and calm reign between them. Despite the silence, Jongin finds serenity, and it has always been like this with Sehun. Their relationship often does not require words because having Sehun right there, next to him, is more than enough. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jongin?” Sehun's lips brushed through his skin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In reply, Jongin pulled him closer, landing a light kiss on the crown of Sehun’s head. It lingered for a while, longer than he originally intended, but then again, Sehun’s scent is a wonder and Jongin’s a weak man. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And it has been long known that between them, Sehun is better with words and prefers declarations over actions. He finds the latter confusing. </span>
  <em>
    <span>It could mean one, but convey a hundred. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Whereas Jongin is the opposite. He values actions more than words, as more often than not, he finds them lacking and easy to manipulate. Actions convey what you truly feel, and he believes that even in times of confusion, actions would remain truthful. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How are you smiling at seven in the morning?” Taemin grumbles, his expression is brimming with disdain and overall, annoyance with just about everything. He worries that if Taemin does it any longer, his face might get paralyzed and his default expression would eternally be awful and unpleasant. “How long was your sleep last night?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Slept at around 11:30, woke up at two and slept again at three-something in the morning; why?” Jongin inquired, turning his head towards the person seated on the office chair beside him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What the fuck? Then, why do you look like you slept for 8 hours after having a good fuck?” Scratch that, Jongin isn’t worried anymore. Taemin deserves to have a face which looks like he couldn’t decide whether to cry or to grimace. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jongin sputters, unprepared for the attack, and just when he thought it was over, another voice piped in. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re not a morning person, but you look like Jongdae-hyung when noona makes him a packed lunch.” It was Yoona. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have known you for only two weeks, but why are you treating me like this already?” Jongin whines. Taemin, Yoona, and Jongdae are creative consultants for this shoot, so it goes without saying that he will be working closely with them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” Jongdae chuckled. </span>
  <em>
    <span>No, not him</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Jongin whined internally. “He has a packed lunch, alright.” He declares, pointing at the paper bag underneath the table. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jongin, you sly bastard! Is it your girlfriend?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jongin raises his brows. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, boyfriend then?” Taemin quips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He smirks, refusing to answer their question. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you want to watch?” Sehun casually scrolls through his phone, and Jongin is beyond certain that the younger has just opened fifteen tabs on top of the hundred that were already previously there. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I dunno; The Fault in Our Stars?” Jongin suggests. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun holds his hand up. “Wait, do you even know me? Are you really my best friend?” He could only watch as the younger’s expression continued to flicker from frustration to defeat.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m just kidding, Sehunnie,” he chuckles. It isn’t a secret that although the younger is secretly a romantic at heart, movies with heavy, dramatic themes aren’t really Sehun’s cup of tea. “Oh, how ‘bout this? Arrival? It sounds nice…” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun stares blankly at him, as if considering his life decisions. “Okay, this better be good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Halfway through the movie, Jongin noticed the slight shivers coming from Sehun, and without giving it much thought, he snaked his arms around him and pulled the younger closer. As if on instinct, Sehun snuggled closer to his warmth. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know, for someone who claims to have had only flings his entire life, you are awfully sweet,” Sehun comments absentmindedly, trying to recall the last he has watched a sci-fi movie about aliens that doesn’t revolve around the male protagonist’s machismo. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s because you are my best friend,” he replies after a few seconds. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And that’s different because?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Again, you are my best friend.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His words do not make sense to the younger, and it’s the frown on Sehun’s face that made that fact known to him. The younger didn’t probe much further on that topic. “By the way, I have a wedding to attend to next week; can you be my plus one?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who’s getting married?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“An old client… ” He tilts his head to meet Jongin’s eyes. “The wedding’s on Friday…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, okay. That’s great actually because I have to go to Jeju on Sunday.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” Sehun questions.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right, I forgot to tell you. The location of the shoot will be on Jeju. I’ll be back on Wednesday if things go as planned.” He explains, eyes trained on the television in front of him. It was only after a minute that he registered Sehun’s unusual silence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you okay?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun snapped out of his trance. “Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Silence has always been a friend that Jongin welcomed. The muted world provided him with solace, allowed his mind to run to places he has never trespassed before, and it soothed his heart, bringing in calmness that men and women yearned for. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Silence has always been a friend that Jongin welcomed. He loved silence, valued it like a prized possession. But then again, Jongin has always been foolish, he spoke too soon, concluding too blindly. The sight of Sehun wearing a baby blue trench coat with nothing else inside of it made everything else go silent. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Silence isn’t his friend. It made the beating of his heart ring loudly, the drum inside his chest made him tremble—almost, almost bringing him down to his knees. He gapes like a fool who has seen the light for the first time, like a man who had drowned only to be revived once again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The pressure he feels on his chest was similar to what he felt the moment Sehun ran towards him with the proudest smile on his face during their college graduation. The feeling is unknown and unfamiliar, it makes him anxious, but he doesn’t completely abhor it. His thinking hasn’t gone that far yet to actually make sense of… this. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do I look okay? I couldn’t wear a suit because of…” He didn’t need to point the obvious. Sehun gave him a stare that conveyed his inquiry, but along with that, it also spoke of uncertainty. Jongin thinks that he can relate. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” he managed to say, and his voice was barely a whisper. Sehun regarded him probingly, demanding for an answer. Something that he cannot give, as of this moment. “You look perfect.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t lying. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sehun is the epitome of a summer morning, and he holds nature in his hands. He is the picture of a meadow with different kinds of flowers blossoming to maturity. The sight of him reminds Jongin of the sun casting a golden light, and reminds him of its gentle warmth during the early hours of the morning. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Perhaps, he is not the only one who thinks about that. Not when Sehun dresses up like that, and most certainly, not when his smile shines and outshines. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jongin, eyes ahead. I am not the one who is getting married, stop looking at me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘That’s the problem, I can’t’</span>
  </em>
  <span> was what he wanted to say, but he could only nod and direct his gaze to the couple in front of him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jongin is a lodestone compass and Sehun is his true north. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The wedding wasn’t grand and not too simple either. Pristine decorations of flowy, sheer fabrics adorn the ceilings of the venue and neat flower arrangements serve as the centerpieces of each table. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We were stupid, too stupid. Honestly,” Jinki, one of the grooms, spoke with mirth and nostalgia in his voice, “too scared to take a step because what we had might crumble and then I remember your smile, felt what it’s like to hold your hand, and I realized that… I wanted more of that; to see your face first thing in the morning and have your lips at the end of each day.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a pause, and laughter ensued upon realizing it was because the groom couldn’t hold back his tears anymore. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jongin hears a chuckle from beside him. Sehun has a fond smile on his face, but there are telltales of tears in his eyes. Perhaps, his burning gaze made itself known to the younger because the next second, the younger’s smile is directed at him. Jongin reaches out to intertwine their hands and Sehun smiles even more. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I felt like I loved you even before I even knew what love was, and I blindly searched for it because I wanted to know what it is and what it feels like to be in love. I failed to realize that love has always been with me –”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In the middle of it all, amidst the people wiping the corners of their eyes in an attempt to hide their tears, Jongin blanks out, finds himself in a daze of vivid images randomly appearing. The memories begin during their college graduation when Jongin had gotten himself an award for academic excellence, and after receiving his certificate, the first person he searched for was Sehun.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun with stars in his eyes, grinning proudly at him. He didn’t think about how easy it was to find Sehun among the hundreds of students seated in front of him. More importantly, he failed to realize that he was more proud of himself for putting that expression on Sehun’s face more than the certificate on his hands. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once again, Jongin finds himself thinking that if soulmates were real, Sehun would be his. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, hey. Fancy seeing you here.” He turns around to find Zhang Yixing in front of them. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Fucking Zhang Yixing</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Jongin curses in his mind. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yixing… Hi!” Sehun replies after regaining his composure. “Long time no see, I guess?” And for the love of the holy fuck, Sehun’s giggles. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He smirks, showcasing his charming dimples, and Jongin thinks that he is doing this on purpose. “Long time no see. Indeed.” Jongin saw how his gaze momentarily fleeted to Sehun’s bump and he raised his eyebrows at Yixing in challenge. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>(Although it’s important to point out that Jongin doesn’t have any idea why he is doing this, but for some reason, he suddenly had the urge to wipe that stupid fucking smirk on Yixing’s face.)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So you guys together?” He doesn’t wait for a response, however, and immediately turns to Jongin. “How’s the baby, by the way?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She’s doing fine, makes Sehun a little bit fussy –“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey!” Sehun protests. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But she’s fine and perfect, and we can’t wait to meet her.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, it certainly is nice to see you again. Congratulations to the both of you, and if it isn’t too much, invite me to your wedding.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jongin breathes out a sigh of relief. “Thank you,” he replies sincerely, and he knows, is very much aware of the protest coming from the man beside him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yixing, that fucker, smirks at him once again, just when Jongin thought that he was done riling him up. “That is if,” he drawls, “there is going to be any. See ya!” Jongin could only glare at Yixing’s back, wishing that he would trip and break his perfect nose. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jongin,” Sehun calls, with a frown on his face, “it’s just Yixing, he is a friend.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And he also courted you,” Jongin points out as if it’s an important detail.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, but why do you look at him like he is the human embodiment of a fart?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>That’s because he is, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Jongin answered internally then pauses. “What?” And it takes only a few seconds for Jongin to double over with laughter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s so funny?!” Sehun whines. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sehun,” Jongin says after multiple fits of laughter. There is still a small smile on his face. “Only you, really; only you,” he chuckles. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean, it’s just me. Your best friend. Your Sehun. If you want to fart, you don’t have to hold it in.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Your Sehun. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Jongin likes the sound of that. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Laughter reverberated from Jongin, and amidst the feeling, something else bloomed in his chest, something he has been feeling quite often lately, and he has to force himself to breathe otherwise he would be too consumed with the thought of Sehun’s smile and Sehun’s lips and Sehun’s everything. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun. Sehun. Sehun. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His mind chants. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Like a mantra. </span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello, I am not satisfied with this chapter, and for that, I would like to apologize.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Weddings are… peculiar. Sehun came to that conclusion upon seeing familiar faces who appear to be genuinely celebrating the love of the couple when they have practically renounced love themselves. </p><p>It’s quite an odd pairing. </p><p>But Sehun wouldn’t dare say that in front of their faces. Sehun has some dignity, although Baekhyun would have a completely different opinion. He diverted his focus to Jongin, the man seemed bizarrely still and quiet. </p><p>Jongin is, after all, a social butterfly, and there are a lot of acquaintances in this party. </p><p>“Hey,” Sehun reached out to hold onto Jongin’s arms, and the said man fixed him with a questioning gaze. “Care to dance with your best friend?” He smiles, trying to coax Jongin out of his shell. His best friend seemed fine though. </p><p>Sehun has a catalogue of Jongin’s expressions and body language, and there’s an 80% chance that this silence just simply means <em> “I seemed to have fallen unconsciously in the abyss of my thoughts, but please be a dear and wake me up”. </em> </p><p>Jongin effectively snaps out of his reverie, and blinks a few times. “What?” He blinks once again. “Oh. Yeah, sure.” There’s a breath of pause where Sehun wants to ask if everything’s alright, but then Jongin gives him a reassuring smile, and it was enough to ease the worries in his heart. </p><p>After all, they are best friends. He isn’t going to pressure Jongin into sharing things that he didn’t want to. Sehun knows that he will, when he is ready. </p><p>Sehun leads him to the dance floor. Jongin remains close, his hand secure on the younger’s waist. A waiter offered Sehun a drink, and he almost, almost forgot that liquor isn’t good for him if not for the gentle squeeze that his best friend gave him. </p><p>
  <em> Speaking of which.  </em>
</p><p>He could actually consume coffee if he wants to, Sehun has read that there is a minimum safe amount for coffee intake, but none has been established for alcohol. Still, he chooses to forgo both for obvious safety reasons. </p><p>Despite the safe amount, coffee is still not a safe substance to consume during pregnancy. </p><p>Once they have infiltrated the scene, Sehun hears murmurs of delighted conversation. The crowd is buzzing incessantly, dancing carelessly to the music. The blaring music was deafening, but Sehun definitely missed the exhilarating sensation of getting lost to the beat and rhythm. The aunts and uncles must have gone home already because there is no way that they would be able to tolerate this. </p><p><em> Understandable, </em> Sehun thinks. </p><p>Still, Sehun knows his limits, he couldn’t dance as wildly or as freely as he had before, but that doesn’t mean he is not going to enjoy this. He lets out a careless laugh when Jongin did a body roll because although there is no denying that Jongin has the body and skills of a god, he is still Sehun’s best friend. </p><p>And it’s ridiculous, but Jongin seemed fine with Sehun laughing at him because he does an even more daring body roll, grinding his body close to the younger in a way that would have been lewd if they weren’t shrieking in laughter.  </p><p>Jongin laughs pulling Sehun closer, and Sehun is too immersed in bliss to fight off the force, and so he obliges—laughing at Jongin’s shoulders. He feels the sync of his and Jongin’s body vibrating in elation. </p><p>They remain in that position even after their laughter has subsided. Sehun observes the lights, flickering smoothly from one color to the other. Sehun and changing, bright lights have never existed harmoniously. True enough, he feels his eyes dropping gradually. </p><p>Because Jongin is Jongin, and he is an expert when it comes to Sehun, he knows, even without having the younger say it. It is also the reason why Jongin is his favorite person in the world, but he doesn’t need to know that. </p><p>“Let’s go home.”</p><p>Sehun hums in reply, letting Jongin drag him out of the dance floor. They were halfway through the edge of it when suddenly, the music changed because one of the grooms, he can’t remember which one, wanted to have a slow dance with his husband. It received a lot of groans, but the DJ explained that this was the song they danced to on their first anniversary as a couple. </p><p>He tugged at Jongin’s hand, and it probably surprised him because when he turned to Sehun, Jongin was frowning and his eyebrows were furrowed in question. “One last dance?” He whispers, beckoning Jongin closer. </p><p>Dance with me by the Orleans plays, and Sehun smiles even further. He giggles, beckoning Jongin closer. His hands find his best friend’s shoulder, and as always, Jongin places his hand on his waist. Sehun realized that they need not to dance in order for his best friend to put his hand on Sehun’s waist because for some reason, they always gravitate their way there. </p><p>The touch will always be something that he will search for, and even without thinking, his skin will remember Jongin’s touches that there are times that it feels wrong that his hands aren’t there. </p><p>They move in sync with each other, like they always do. It isn’t silent, the crowd is still buzzing with cheers for the couple, but Sehun feels calm and comfortable, as if they are on their own little bubble. His eyes are closed and his forehead rests on his best friend’s shoulder. </p><p>There are a lot of things that Sehun would never have the courage to share, regardless of how much he prefers words over actions. Like he would never tell Jongin that he listens to his Spotify playlists when he misses him or when he feels lonely. </p><p>In this moment, right here, he discovers another thing that he will bring with him to his grave: he hopes this moment will not end, that they can stay like this forever. </p><p>But then Sehun isn’t Alice and he isn’t in Wonderland. Most importantly, he can’t simply just think of six impossible things and expect them to happen. The music ends and his heart sinks a little. </p><p>With a sigh, he lifts his head up, eyes still closed (because he is sleepy!), but with a smile on his face. “Let’s go home, Nini.” He whispers, and that’s probably too soft for Jongin to hear, but he understands it anyway. </p><p>His skin registers Jongin’s touch on his hand, and it burns a lovely fire. Sehun opens his eyes and blinks, does it a couple more times because just now, he saw this look on his best friend’s face. He is unsure if it was just his sleepy brain or the lights playing tricks on him. </p><p>It made his heart skip a beat because Sehun must have looked like an angel or the most ethereal person on earth for Jongin to give him that look. It was gone in a split second and he could have just imagined it, but he is sure that he did not. </p><p> </p><p>The next day, Jongin leaves at eleven in the morning. If things go as planned, he should be back by Wednesday. It’s just a couple of days, but Sehun feels sulky. He made a poor attempt at hiding it, but <em> hey, at least he tried. </em> Jongin stares at him, conflict reflected on his features. Unsurprisingly, he looks like a bear cub who got reprimanded by the mother bear. </p><p>Sehun laughs to assure Jongin that 2he will be alright, but it wasn’t entirely genuine because half of it had to be forced out by Sehun. “I’m gonna be fine!” He reiterates. Jongin nods grimly before pulling him into a hug. He had to tap his best friends back to silently convey that he had to let go and luckily, Jongin obliged albeit reluctantly. </p><p>Jongin stares at him again, and he couldn’t help but roll his eyes because he is positive that his best friend will open his mouth again only to remind Sehun of things he already knows and/or has heard for seven times already. </p><p>He holds his hand up to silence any future attempts. “I know, I know! I will not go out at night. I will always remember to lock the door. I will not burn your house down or murder somebody.” Sehun smiles sardonically. </p><p>“Fine, fine,” Jongin concedes, enveloping Sehun once again for a brief hug. “I’ll be back. Wait for me.”</p><p>“Of course, you’ll be back!” Sehun exclaims. “Where else would you be if not here?” </p><p>Jongin stares at him openly, and he appears as if he wants to say something, but at the same time, he is debating against it. In the end, he whispers a quiet “take care” to Sehun, but there’s nothing about those words that would make Jongin have a battle with himself.</p><p> </p><p>That night, Jongin rings his phone at promptly 9:45 PM. Sehun rolls his eyes in annoyance because he could bet a month worth of his salary that Jongin is calling just to check if he is getting ready to sleep. He swipes his thumb across the screen. </p><p>“Hello?”</p><p>“Are you in bed by now?” <em> Rude! </em> A voice in his mind says.</p><p>“Well, hello to you, Jongin! How was your flight?”</p><p>Jongin sighs, “Sehun.”</p><p>Teasing would be fun. Teasing a mildly exasperated Jongin is even more entertaining, but Sehun decides against it because Jongin’s agitated voice screams “<em> I am ready and halfway through the door to board on an airplane just to make sure you are asleep by 10 PM </em>.”</p><p>“Yep, where else would I be?” He replied, a tad too cheerful for someone who is supposed to be in dreamland in a couple of minutes. </p><p>“Video call, just to check.” Sehun’s phone screen displayed a request for a video call. <em> This is highly unnecessary, </em> he comments in his mind, and he answers the call with an irritated sigh. </p><p>“Happy now?” He greets.</p><p>“Very.”</p><p>Sehun’s camera rests too close on his face. He pushes it further away just so his entire face can be seen by his best friend. The seconds pass by with nothing but silence between them, and it’s odd having your best friend just stare at you from across the screen. </p><p>“You’re supposed to say something, Jongin,” Sehun giggles at Jongin’s pouting face. </p><p>“Just checking,” he sighed, but his voice was tired, sounding resigned. Sehun was about to ask what’s wrong when Jongin spoke again. “Anyway, it’s late. Go to sleep.” </p><p>“Fine,” he replies, adjusting the blanket around him. </p><p>“Sehun?”</p><p>“Yeah?” Half of his face is covered with the blanket now, but at least his eyes are still visible. </p><p>“I miss you.”</p><p>Jongin drops the call before Sehun could say it back. </p><p> </p><p>Sehun is trying to wrap his head around the fact that he is already four months along and they only have five months to go before this little bun comes out. He is also adamant on not knowing the sex, insisting that he wishes for it to be a surprise, but also to torture Jongin considering that he is so resolute on declaring that this baby would be a girl. </p><p>What if it’s a boy? Would Jongin still lo—actually, it doesn’t matter. It’s his child. Sehun’s child. If this baby asks where the other parent is, Sehun could just explain the process of procreation in some flowers and how they are capable of self-reproduction. </p><p>He isn’t sure if that’s right, but that will have to do.  </p><p>Of course, if the child’s old enough, he will realize that what Sehun said when he was younger was pure and utter BS. Sehun couldn’t get away with another lie, can he? Maybe, he’ll just tell the truth, “It’s Uncle Jongin, but don’t get mad at him, he paid for all of your tuition fees.”</p><p>He grimaces, upon realizing that it’s not gonna work, and chooses to drop the thought altogether and store it at the back of his mind under a pile of memorized garbage songs and forgotten phone numbers. He’ll just cross the bridge when they get there, or find another path that doesn’t require them to go that bridge. </p><p>Sehun makes a mental list of immediate necessities such as bottles, diapers, talking with his insurance manager, baby names, nurser—baby names! How could he forget that? Sehun has to think of this in advance. He isn’t completely aware of how things work such as when would the nurse ask for the baby’s name? Is it after birth? Because that’s what the movies are telling. </p><p>What if the nurse inquires about the baby’s name immediately after birth and he panics because he hasn’t prepared one? What if due to his panic he blurts out Jajangmyeon or Goku? There is no way this child wouldn’t hate him if that happened. Sehun literally had nine months, and he couldn’t spare 15 minutes for a name? </p><p>Should he combine his and Jongin’s name? Like Sejong? Jonghun? Oh, wait. No, that’s ridiculous. His best friend has already decided where he stands, so Sehun should respect that, right? Still, Jongin is an asshole. </p><p>There are moments here and there that he imagines what it would be like if Jongin chose a different course. Sehun’s not asking Jongin to marry him. He simply wants his best friend to take responsibility. He recognizes that even though Jongin is being responsible right now (and his presence is very much appreciated), he still cannot commit to this drastic change. Jongin just isn’t ready. </p><p>Responsibility and commitment are not one and the same. </p><p>What if the day comes that Jongin is ready? Would Sehun be willing to introduce him? <em> No, stop thinking about that! Think of baby names! We’ll just cross the bridge when we get there. No, scratch that, burn the bridge! </em></p><p>Sehun can hear Kyungsoo and Baekhyun murmuring in the kitchen, but he is too engrossed in his thoughts to care. In the middle of debating which one between Sowon or Hyesun would sound nicer, he hears the doorbell ring. </p><p>“Sehun, can you get the door? We’re in the middle of something right here!” </p><p>“On it!” Are they expecting any visitor? Did Baekhyun order something? </p><p>He opens the door without checking the peephole because it is rare that a murderer would come at broad daylight, and Sehun would like to believe that he isn’t that unlucky to be the victim of a daylight murder bash. </p><p>Sehun opens the door, and he instantly freezes. In retrospect, is there a chance that he would be able to escape a murder? Baekhyun and Kyungsoo are there. Baekhyun would probably scream before doing something, but at least Kyungsoo is there. </p><p>Because right now, Jongin is at his door and his eyes are screaming bloody murder. </p><p>
  <em> Oh, no.  </em>
</p><p>“What are you doing here?” </p><p>“Why aren’t you at home?” </p><p>They say at the same time. Sehun gapes at him and Jongin glares harder. </p><p>“You’re not supposed to be back yet. You told me!” He counters after the initial shock.  </p><p>But Jongin is firm, gaze persuading and interrogating. “Sehun,” he sighs, one of his hands comes up to massage his temple, “why aren’t you at home?”</p><p>“But Sehun is at home,” Kyungsoo replies. Jongin fixes him with a stare, and Sehun’s not sure how to read that one. It appeared that his best friend was annoyed. Baekhyun’s cackling is misplaced and he sounds like an idiot. Kyungsoo gives him a firm jab to shut him up. </p><p>His best friend eyes the doorknob with disdain. “Did you lock the door last night?” </p><p>“He didn’t,” Baekhyun chirps, mischief dances and thrives in his smile. “I got here at two in the morning and I didn’t even have to wake Sehun up to get in.”</p><p>“Baek!” Sehun screams, and the said man raises his hand in mock surrender. </p><p>“I’m kidding. I’m kidding! I got here 20 minutes before you. Chill your ass. Your <em> best friend’s </em>okay, totally unscathed.” Sehun releases a sigh of relief, but apparently, Baekhyun isn’t done yet. He might have noticed that Jongin’s line of sight is focused on the paper bags at the corner of the room </p><p>“Oh, and we also bought cute little onesies for <em> Sehun’s </em> baby!” </p><p>Kyungsoo looks like he can’t decide if he wants to join Baekhyun in taunting Jongin or fling him off the nearest cliff. </p><p> </p><p>Baekhyun and Kyungsoo leave fifteen minutes later, claiming that they have somewhere to be, but Sehun’s not born yesterday to not be familiar with the internationally accepted, non-rude methods of escape. </p><p>The moment they leave the door, Jongin turns to him with a pout. Sehun immediately takes note of the stubbles on Jongin’s chin and the dark area under his eyes. He gives Jongin a soft smile, arms extending to beckon Jongin in an embrace, but the said man had better ideas. </p><p>Because he finds himself being dragged into the couch by Jongin who immediately plops down with Sehun in tow. The younger lands smoothly on Jongin’s chest. When he was about to protest, Jongin used force to hoist Sehun higher, and the latter ended up with his lips on Jongin’s collar bone. He grins, upon realizing that his best friend is nosing at his hair. Sehun recalls all the moments that Jongin casually told him that he smells like flowers. </p><p>“You are being,” Sehun punctuates with a pause, “awfully clingy today”. </p><p>Jongin’s hand is warm on his back. “I don’t hear you complaining.”</p><p>“I literally just complained.” He lifts his head up for a dramatic flare. </p><p>Jongin replies with a grin, and a slight pinch on his cheek. “Try harder.”</p><p> </p><p>Loose empire suit pants and a cotton sweater might be the summary of Sehun’s casual wardrobe for the next few months. Sehun scans their surroundings for three seconds and falls into a conclusion that mall business is as usual. Jongin has his hands in a secure hold. He has tried to pry his hands off the grasp, but each time it would happen, Jongin will simply tighten his hold and glare at him for doing that. </p><p>It’s not that he doesn’t want Jongin to hold his hand. Heck, they have cuddled for so many times already. What could be so wrong in holding hands? See, the thing is, Jongin and Sehun know their boundaries and nature of the relationship, but other people don’t and there is a chance that some acquaintance would spot them and with a twist of words, a wildfire of rumors will ensue. </p><p>Jongin didn’t actually inform him about where they are really going upon asking, however, all he got is a short “You’ll see.” Sehun frowns at that, wondering what stupid idea has invaded his best friend’s mind. He finds out shortly after that apparently, Jongin’s idea isn’t stupid. </p><p>His best friend dragged him to a baby store! </p><p>“Jongin, this is fantastic!” He has been collecting baby stuff in increments, and he hasn’t really done any actually shopping. </p><p>They have adapted a harmonious system of alternately asking the other if this onesie, bottle, or baby bib looks cute. Of course, they are still unaware of the baby’s sex, so they would have to resort to buying gender neutral things such as bottles, cribs, soft blankets. Sehun opted to keep it a secret, refusing the doctor when she offered to reveal the baby’s sex the last time they visited her. </p><p>Jongin, however, keeps on insisting that they should buy onesies for baby girls and cute dresses. The gesture is cute and touching, but Sehun couldn’t help the frown overcoming his features. </p><p>“Jongin,” he starts, brushing the said man’s arm, “what if this baby turns out to be a boy? Will you spoil and dote on him just as much?” </p><p>It seemed to have popped Jongin’s joy bubble because his face turned serious. “Of course. Why wouldn’t I? I am just merely hoping that the baby would be a girl because she would then be the most beautiful baby girl I have ever seen. Not that I am saying that if it turns out to be a boy, he wouldn’t be beautiful…” </p><p>“I get it,” Sehun interjects because Jongin is about to start rambling and they are in the middle of the aisle, not exactly an ideal place to hold conversations. Jongin sighs like a man who barely escaped injury. </p><p>He reaches out to place his palm on Jongin’s cheek. “And thank you. For everything, for being here, for staying by my side even though you were not ready for this. After giving birth, I swear,” Sehun laughs, “I will get out of your hair. You could go back to your bachelor life, but promise me that you will always be there for this baby.”</p><p>Jongin’s in conflict, eyes swirling with overflowing, untold emotions. He continues to stare at Sehun with orbs that appears to scream mutedly at him. The words they want to express, the message they want to convey are trapped in those orbs, but his lips say nothing. </p><p>“If you would let me,” Jongin replies, eyes downcast and full of uncertainty, “I – I would like to stay by yours and our baby’s side for as long as you wa –”</p><p>“So, have the pigs started flying?” A voice suddenly interrupts. Jongin has half a mind to strangle the person who interrupted his confession. Building up courage is specifically difficult, and he had one just moments ago, but this person just couldn’t wait and decided to barge in. </p><p>He turns around to glare at that person, but his eyes and body freezes at the sight in front of him. “Hyeji?!” Jongin says in surprise. “It’s been, it’s been a long time,” he adds, still in the cloud of disbelief. </p><p>Sehun blanked out for a solid five seconds before realizing that this is The Hyeji a.k.a Jongin’s first heartbreak and the cause of their first major fight. Well, not really, Jongin was being an asshole that time.</p><p>“Kim Jongin, have the pigs started to fly?” She repeats again, and Sehun’s forehead knot in confusion. “You told me that you will only fall in l –”</p><p>“Hyeji!” Jongin suddenly interrupts. “How have you been?” Sehun tugs at Jongin’s arm in disapproval for butting in while Hyeji is speaking. He also noted that his best friend’s voice was firmer, as if there is more to his words than he was letting on.</p><p>“Oh, I see,” She wittingly replies, schooling her expression into a warm one, but not before glancing at Jongin with a glint of amusement in her eyes. </p><p>“I’m good. Great, actually! I run this store with my husband.” Hyeji giggles before turning to the younger. “Sehun, how have you been?” </p><p>Sehun blesses her with a kind smile. “I’m good, and as you can see, I’m around four months pregnant.”</p><p>Hyeji gasps. “That’s wonderful news, Sehun! Congratulations to the both of you!” </p><p>“Thank you. It’s nice seeing you again, actually. Did you know that Jongin cried when you broke up with him?” Sehun inquired just to taunt Jongin. </p><p>“I did not!” </p><p>“Yes, idiot. You did!” Sehun countered before conceding defeat. “Fine, he didn’t. I’m just kidding, but he really was sad that time.”</p><p>“Oh, was he? I’m pretty sure it was his ego not his heart that I broke.”</p><p>“Oh, shut up. Will you?” </p><p><em> Why is Jongin acting like this? </em> He knows that Jongin sometimes loses control of the words that come out his mouth, but there is something in this interaction that Sehun is not seeing. </p><p>“Jongin.” Sehun gives him a small pinch on the back of his hand. “That’s not nice.”</p><p>“Yes, Jongin. That’s not nice…” Hyeji repeats with a mocking smirk, eyes trained unwaveringly on Jongin’s orbs. Her eyebrows are raised, as if ridiculing Jongin. Indeed, something is definitely up. </p><p>“Anyways, it’s also nice meeting you again, Sehun. I hope I can say the same for Jongin, but nothing’s really changed? I really have to go though. Also, don’t bother paying for those, I’ll ask someone to wrap it for you.”</p><p>“Hyeji!” Jongin calls making Hyeji turn. “Pigs are flying. They have been for a really, really long time now.”</p><p>Sehun observes the interaction and the only thing that comes to his mind is<em> “What the fuck is going on in here?” </em> Looking back, Sehun never found out why Hyeji broke up with Jongin. It was something that he refused to ask considering Sehun has associated the fight that they had with Hyeji. It’s not that Sehun is blaming her, but in his mind, there is a line connecting Hyeji's name and that fight. </p><p>“You never told me what happened between you and Hyeji.”</p><p>Jongin stares at him in surprise and Sehun could make out a little bit of panic in his orbs. “Some other time, maybe.” Still, there is something about Jongin’s voice that is telling Sehun how this is just an excuse to get away with it, but then, Sehun is never the one to pry, so he lets it go. </p><p> </p><p>For the first time in so many years, Jongin is acting weird, and Sehun knows that because he has been best friends with Jongin for almost a decade. Sehun cannot exactly isolate which behaviors are odd because Jongin is still Jongin, but at the same time, he’s not? </p><p>Well, Jongin’s gaze has always been enigmatic and captivating, as if he holds the secrets of the universe in his eyes and people are naturally drawn to discover whatever they are. He knows each of Jongin’s stares, has catalogued all the possibilities regarding what they could mean. Sehun is a bit confused if he is just imagining things because of the pregnancy? </p><p><em> Can that affect the brain? Should it affect the brain? Sehun should better check that out, right? </em>Sehun cradles his six-month belly close. </p><p>Jongin has this look on his eyes each time Sehun catches the said man staring at him—too intimate, too expressive, too mysterious. It spoke of promises, secrets, and unnamed emotions. The thing is, once he has Sehun’s attention, the gaze would shift into something familiar like Jongin raising his brows at him in question or snapping out of his trance. </p><p>The emotions left Jongin’s eyes, as if they were never there. Sehun thinks that Jongin is unaware that he has that look in his eyes because when he is woken up from his reverie, it would immediately be gone. In fact, Sehun had been brave one time, and asked his best friend about it. </p><p>“Why are you looking at me like that?” Sehun demanded, propping one of his elbows to the countertop and resting his chin on his palm. </p><p>Jongin’s eyebrows met in the middle. “What are you talking about? Like what?” </p><p>“Like you’re—Never mind.” </p><p><em> Like you’re looking at the stars for the first time. </em> That was what he wanted to say. It sounds ridiculous. </p><p>Then comes Jongin’s touches. They are always too gentle, too tentative, but always lingering. For some reason, he could still feel the tingles, the drag of Jongin’s skin against his even after the touch had left him. </p><p>There’s nothing grand or outwardly obvious, and Sehun may be overthinking it, but the shift comes with the way that Jongin holds him, pulls his body close, and there’s always a sigh when Sehun’s body is already pressed on him like it’s the reprieve that he has been waiting for all along. It was as if Jongin finally found his home after years of being lost. </p><p>His best friend has never been afraid to display physical affection, and it’s only natural for Sehun to get used to it. For some reason, however, he lately finds himself frequently tilting his head in confusion. </p><p>There’s something unfamiliar with the way that Jongin would slide his hand across the expanse of Sehun’s arms before it finally finds his waist and settles. </p><p>There’s something different with the way that Jongin turns his entire body to face Sehun whenever he is talking, or the way that he would casually reach out to tuck a rogue strand of hair. </p><p>There’s something quite alarming, but not entirely unwelcome with Jongin’s new habit of pressing his lips on Sehun’s forehead each time he leaves, and if that isn’t enough, his hand would come up to his cheek to caress his face. With the dopiest smile Sehun has ever seen on his best friend’s face, he would whisper, “Thank you for the lunch” or “Take care” or “Be back soon.” </p><p>Jongin’s touch is always warm and comforting, always too gentle and certain. It was the epitome of the beginning of the spring where the warmth would touch Sehun’s heart in all the right ways. </p><p> </p><p>Sunday came by like a blur. Nothing is fixed, Sehun considers it as a buffer day. Mostly, they spend the day watching shows on Netflix, do some work, or bake. Well, Sehun bakes while Jongin seems to have taken the role of messing everything up or eating whatever looks edible. </p><p>At eight in the evening, Sehun was ready to call it a night. Although sleep would not come to him until another hour or two, he decides to hit the bed. His plans came to a halt, however, upon receiving Baekhyun’s email asking him if he could come to talk about something. Sehun instantly confirmed, but informed him that he has to be asleep by ten in the evening. </p><p>Sehun hears the doorbell ring. That couldn’t be Baekhyun, his friend said that he would <em> ‘be there in twenty’. </em> He eyes Jongin from across the couch with a questioning stare. The said man shakes his head, conveying that he, too, doesn’t have an idea who their visitor might be. </p><p>Sehun opens the door which earned a reprimanding, “Sehun!” from his best friend because apparently, he shouldn’t open the door without taking a look at the peephole. To be fair, Jongin’s reasoning is impeccable, but again, Sehun would like to believe that his luck hasn’t forsaken him.</p><p>“Hi,” he greets after a beat, curiously gazing at the unfamiliar faces. To Sehun’s confusion, the two men regarded him with equally questioning eyes. “What can I do to help you?” </p><p>“Sehun,” his best friend starts, “how many times do I have to tell you to check on the peephole?”</p><p>He answers Jongin with an incredulous stare before turning his attention to their visitors. “You’re not gonna murder me, are you?” Sehun felt his best friend at his side, his form stilled at the sight in front of him. </p><p>“Why don’t you ask Jongin if we’re murderers.” A man with a blond mop of hair replied, his smile was outgoing and child-like. “I’m Taemin, by the way, and this Jongdae. You are?” </p><p>“Oh. You’re Jongin’s workmates for the magazine,” Sehun replied, elation evident in his voice. “I’m Sehun. He didn’t tell me that you would come.”</p><p>“That’s because they didn’t tell me that they would come,” Jongin replied pointedly, his expression clearly telling them that he is, in fact, not amused. “Why are you here?” He questions immediately, crossing his arms across his chest. </p><p>“Oh, Jongin. You wound me. We were just wondering what you are doing because you kept on ditching our invites. Well, now we know.” The man named Jongdae smiled suggestively, eyeing the two of them. </p><p>“Oh, you have plans tonight, Ni?” Sehun whispered inquisitively. </p><p>Jongin spares him a glance. “Pass.” Sehun eyed his best friend’s workmates. They don’t seem disappointed at all. He frowns at that thought. </p><p>“You should come,” he suggests, tugging at Jongin’s sleeves. “I will be fine, Baekhyun will be coming tonight. He can accompany me until you get home.” </p><p>“Also, you basically have no choice on this. It was your boss who asked us to fetch you.”</p><p>“Kris? Why is he there?”</p><p>“Our boss invited him. They are talking about a business. What else would they talk about? You know how famous you are in the industry, Jongin.” </p><p><em> It’s true, </em> Sehun grins at that. Throughout the years, Jongin has garnered several shoots under his name and all of them have been nothing short of phenomenal. He has to be there, of course. After all, he is one of the main reasons why Kris’ agency skyrocketed to fame. </p><p>“Ask Sehun,” he replies, much to Sehun’s surprise.  </p><p>“You have to go, Jongin. This is important,” Sehun convinces. There’s a knot on Jongin’s forehead. He stares at Sehun for a good five seconds before nodding. </p><p>“Fine,” he concedes, then turns to Jongdae and Taemin, “you go ahead. I’ll meet you in thirty.”</p><p>“Sure,” Taemin answers. He faces Sehun with a warm but teasing smile. “I guess you are the one who prepares Jongin’s lunches?” He inquired, but it seemed that he already had the answer. </p><p>“Congratulations on the baby, by the way,” Jongdae interjects. Sehun smiles at him warmly, and he suddenly feels Jongin’s hand snaking around his waist. Taemin’s interest is poorly concealed like there is an amusing spectacle in front of him. </p><p>“What baby? This is just pizza.”</p><p><em> “What.” </em> Taemin gapes. </p><p>“I’m just kidding,” he chortles, facing his best friend once again, and for the first time since Jongdae and Tamin came, Jongin breaks into an amused smile. </p><p>“You should stop calling our baby with whatever you have recently eaten.” </p><p>Sehun’s delight spills forth in shrieks of laughter, remembering the horror in Jongin’s face when he referred to their baby as “Beef Taco”. </p><p> </p><p>“Baek!” Sehun practically screams in delight. </p><p>Baekhyun places his hand on his waist. “Did you even check the peephole?”</p><p>“Huh?” Sehun frowns. “You texted me, why would I need to?”</p><p>Baekhyun deadpans at him. “Okay, let’s get inside. Jongin will murder me if you catch a cold.” </p><p>“My best friend wouldn’t do that.”</p><p>“For someone as dramatic as you, you underestimate a lot of things. Don’t you think?” </p><p> </p><p>Sehun frowns at the clock in front of him—1:14 AM. He wonders if Baekhyun had already gone to sleep.<em> Stupid bladder </em>, he grumbles, and now, he couldn’t go back to sleep! He contemplates texting Jongin, but he doesn’t want his best friend to think of him when he should be having a good time. </p><p>His meeting with Baekhyun had gone well. Of course, Sehun knows better than to actually believe that his scoundrel of a friend meant business. Surely, he just wanted to check up on Sehun, as the younger refuses to give details other than “I’m fine” when they ask him how things are going. </p><p>Baekhyun asked his opinion if they should reproduce some items from their previous collection considering that it gave them good numbers. His friend also thought about venturing on footwear, but Sehun told him it’s too early for that considering as they had just released a line of streetwear bags. </p><p>The door clicks and Sehun pushes himself up to watch the spectacle of Jongin tumbling and almost losing his balance. “Ooops,” Jongin giggles, and Sehun shakes his head in amusement. </p><p>“Nini,” he calls, shuffling to get the comforter out of him. </p><p>“Sehunnie!” He screams, running towards Sehun’s side. His best friend attacks him with a drunk-person-hug, and Sehun slightly struggles because Jongin hugs like a boa constrictor when he is drunk. His eyebrows meet upon seeing a sticky note plastered on Jongin’s sleeves. </p><p> </p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <em> Hello, Sehun! We changed Jongin’s clothes and made him brush his teeth, so he wouldn’t smell like alcohol and shit. Might be bad for the baby. We stopped by at Jongdae-hyung’s place, Jongin told us to do it if he ever gets shitfaced. Kris would glare at him every time he refuses a drink. We can’t open his phone. He told us the password was your birthday, but we don’t know when’s your birthday?  </em>
  </p>
  <p><em> Sincerely, Taemin who is also, unfortunately, this night out’s designated driver </em>. </p>
</blockquote><p>Sehun snorts while his mind makes a note to thank Taemin the next time they see each other. </p><p>He pats Jongin’s back. “Nini, lie down properly.” The said man answers by freeing the younger from his restraints and grinning widely at him. Jongin tumbles to the bed carelessly before pulling Sehun on top of him. </p><p>The smile on Jongin’s face remains as if it is permanently etched on his features. His eyes roam around Sehun’s face, occasionally caressing the apples of his cheek. “Pretty, pretty Sehunnie. Why are you so beautiful?”</p><p>Sehun raises his brows in amusement. Drunk Jongin is, indeed, a spectacular sight. “What are you talking about?” He moves, lying on his side while facing Jongin. </p><p>“Sehun, Sehun, I have a question,” Jongin whispers excitedly. It reminded Sehun of a kid eager to share his secrets. “Which one do you like more: Math or Nini?” </p><p>“Hmmm, Math.” </p><p>“Noooo,” Jongin bemoans, his hand that was on the younger’s waist tightened, pulling him closer. “You should like me more than Math. I’m, like, hot? Yes. Yes. I am. What else? I know how to drive. Math can’t do that. Math is stupid. I also make, like, waaay more sense than Math.”</p><p>“Are you sure about that, Jongin?” Sehun quirks his brow. His tone was sarcastic, but Jongin’s too drunk to notice that. </p><p>“And I love you! I’m a better lover than Math. I can take you out on dates. I’m also warm — you said that, right?”</p><p>Sehun’s heart skips a beat. Who would take a drunk person’s words seriously? He isn’t mental. Perhaps, Jongin meant it as a friend. Besides, they have no qualms about telling that to each other, so this shouldn't be any different, right?</p><p>“I love you, too, Nini.” </p><p>“Noooo, you don’t understand!” Jongin chastises, caging Sehun’s face in his palms. “I love you like love you, wanna kiss you, take you out on dates with baby. Of course, with the baby!” </p><p>Wildfire spreads in his veins. He might have held his breath for too long because there is tightness on his chest area. It should alarm him, but the feeling is welcomed. And overwhelming. </p><p><em> Oh, god. What is happening. </em> </p><p>Sehun should be confused. There is no manual on how a person should react if his best friend confessed his love to him while drunk. He is confused, actually, but there’s another feeling raging within him, more dominant and passionate. He realizes how powerful emotions are, how quickly it overtook his senses and logic. </p><p>Sehun should be confused, should not take Jongin’s confession at heart, but the voice in his head is screaming at him to pull his best friend in a hug. Or Kiss, much better. His skin tingles, itching to have Jongin closer, as if it’s the only cure to the storm bringing catastrophe to his heart. </p><p>“Oh, I’m also a good kisser! You should know, we made a baby!” Jongin pushes himself up, closing the distance between them. “We should try! I’ll show you!”</p><p>“Jongin, wha—<em> ooomph </em>!”</p><p>Sehun should be concerned. His drunk best friend is drunk kissing him and the only thing on his mind is,<em> “Oh, fuck”. </em> Jongin is relentless and unforgiving, pinning Sehun’s hands atop his head. His mouth was hot, almost burning, but in a good way. </p><p>
  <em> Oh, god. It’s burning in all the right ways.  </em>
</p><p>The younger parted his mouth to let some air in, and Jongin pressed his body closer at the same time that he slid his tongue inside. Sehun moans, as he feels the rhythm of his heartbeat getting more rapid, feels their breaths mixing and there’s something consuming with the thought that when he breathes, he takes in Jongin. </p><p>When Sehun looks up to stare at Jongin’s eyes, he sees passion and desperation. It rendered him a whimpering mess, and he knows that his eyes mirror the same emotions that Jongin is projecting. Jongin lets go of Sehun’s hand, and they instantly fly at the former’s nape, carding through his air and pulling him closer. </p><p>Jongin’s hands explore the tapestry of Sehun’s skin. His touches leave warmth that blooms and spreads and engraves on the younger’s skin. His hands find Sehun’s stomach, caressing the small bump lovingly, making the younger feel warm all over. </p><p>The younger forces himself to back away from Jongin’s kisses. Panting, he mumbles, “Jongin, stop kissing me. You’re drunk. You don’t want this.”</p><p>The said man had the guts to look ashamed as if he didn’t just ram his tongue down on Sehun’s throat, and with the faintest voice, he made a confession. “I would still want you even if I am sober.”</p><p>Jongin didn’t give Sehun the luxury to ponder on his words before shamelessly continuing where they left off until he suddenly freezes, bolting upright. “Oh, no,” he whispers, visible panicking. </p><p>Sehun’s heart lurched at his throat at the sight of his best friend’s expression. </p><p>
  <em> What? Is it a mistake? Does Jongin regret it? </em>
</p><p>“Sehun, we tainted our baby!” He exclaimed, and Sehun’s positive that he is two seconds away from a horrible waterwork. </p><p>“What?” </p><p>Jongin leans forward, positioning close to Sehun’s bump. “Baby, I’m sorry. Appa will never do that in front of you again.”</p><p>It takes Sehun a full five seconds to register what is happening in front of him. Instantly, he bursts out in laughter. </p><p>“What the f –” Sehun clamps his mouth shut before the curse word could escape. </p><p>
  <em> Calm down, Sehun. Breathe in. Breathe out.  </em>
</p><p>“Are you sure we wouldn’t be doing that again? It would take us months…” Sehun points out. </p><p>“Months?” Jongin inquired, tilting his head. His expression tells Sehun that he is reevaluating his life choices. </p><p>He frowns, facing Sehun’s bump, and with all seriousness in his expression, he says, “Okay, baby, you’re gonna have to learn how to close your eyes, okay? Don’t worry, your papa and appa will tell you when you have to close your eyes.” </p><p>Sehun has to bite his lips to prevent him from cackling like the manic that Jongin has turned him into. He places his hand on top of Jongin’s.</p><p>
  <em>We will be alright, baby. I love you. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>The next day, Sehun realizes that his best friend was completely intoxicated, shit-faced drunk, and thus, he can’t remember shit.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I don't like how this chapter is written: Part II. I am not particularly good with writing angst. WARNING: Non-graphic and brief description of a birth scene.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>At seven months, they find themselves on a fixed routine of early morning walks and evening breathing exercises. When Sehun casually mentioned that he has been doing some breathing exercises, Jongin took it upon himself to do tons of research and accompany the younger each time he was doing it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Doctor Kwon insisted for Sehun to do it, and he has been (albeit sporadically). In his defense, he has started to do it more frequently ever since he reached 24 weeks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Considering how they only have a few more weeks to go, Sehun decides to take this whole breathing exercise very seriously. It’s not that he didn’t take it seriously back then, but he needs to give an immense amount of dedication, the impending birth of their baby made him realize the gravity of the situation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Later on, Jongin finds out the importance of staying active during the third trimester of pregnancy. He has read testimonies that it helps position the baby into a relatively conducive position for labor. The commitment that his best friend devotes in ensuring Sehun’s comfort is heartwarming. Jongin never does anything in halves. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It has always been all or nothing for him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>In spite of Sehun’s mood swings and tireless denial on the days that he doesn’t feel like walking, Jongin always sees to it that Sehun will never skip a day. His best friend’s words are never reprimanding unless, of course, Sehun curses. They are nothing but calm and encouraging. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Jongin?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes?” The said man raises his brows in question. Sehun would call and Jongin would instantly respond. The younger smiles, appreciating Jongin’s attentiveness.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you get fired?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jongin gives him a confused, “No.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then why aren’t you at work?” His best friend has been spending a lot of time with him, only going out once in a span of two weeks just to do some grocery. He stops on his tracks to face the younger properly, his arm is secure around the younger’s waist. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I filed for a leave.” Jongin admits, his voice small and tentative. “Need to take care of you.” He presses his lips on Sehun’s forehead. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jongin is the comfort of a warm blanket on a cold, stormy night. His touch is the soothing burn and sweetness of a hot chocolate. WIth Jongin, loneliness is a foreign concept. </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re doing great so far, Sehun!” The said man smiles, watching Doctor Kwon as she flips through her notes. An expression of disapproval made its way into her features. “But it says here that you want to give birth in this hospital?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun breath hitched, clasping tightly on the lower end of his dress shirt. Jongin regards him with an inquisitive stare. The younger doesn’t need to hear Jongin’s words to decipher his thoughts. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Here goes nothing…</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why? Is there a problem?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well,” Doctor Kwon stars, there’s a hint of reluctance in her voice, Sehun’s not stopping her, so she continues, “considering Sehun’s medical history… I suggested that he –”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait, medical history?” Alarm is prominent with the way that his voice raises. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jongin.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mr. Kim, I didn’t know that you were not aware…” She admits, gaze shifting quickly between the two of them, as if she is assessing the situation at hand. “Sehun’s pregnancy is doing great, so I didn’t pressure him into doing that, but that option was merely for an extra precaution.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun plans on going on a work hiatus for a year or two after giving birth and along with that, he also plans to transfer into a bigger and much safer place. He has enough funds, but he needs to save as much to make sure that he and the baby will live comfortably while he is out of work. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There is a chance of a birth complication like the one his nephew had, and he doesn’t mind risking his safety just to ensure that his child’s medical needs will be taken care of. He knows that he has friends that he can rely on, but this is his baby. As long as he can, he will be the one who will provide for the child’s needs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Whatever it is, please arrange what is best for Sehun…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The doctor nods, then looks at him, “Sehun?” After all, his choice precedes whatever Jongin wants. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” he whispers, not wanting to aggravate Jongin more. His best friend is quiet and unflinching, he could sense the anger and disappointment radiating from Jongin. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The ride home was uncharacteristically tense. Silence reigned heavy between them like a suffocating blanket. Sehun continues to fiddle with his fingers while his best friend is intent on glaring daggers to nothing in particular. The hand on the wheel is tight, almost pale from the force of his grip. His jaw is clenched, fury danced like a raging fire in his orbs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What medical history?” Jongin inquired when they reached his place, voice low and punctuated. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun’s touch flew to his bump in a protective instinct. He bites his lip, unsure on how he could possibly lessen the blow. Any word he says right now could only add fuel to the fire. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“D-Do you remember what happened to my father?” There’s a beat. “My birth father? I don’t think I ever told you about this, but he, uhm, he died while giving birth to me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jongin’s expression quickly morphed into surprise, gaping at Sehun openly. His eyes were vacant and distant. The younger can see the gears in his head turning, he does not need to spell it out for Jongin to understand the meaning behind his words. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought it was an isolated incident. I mean, it happens to some people as well, but then I had a hunch when my cousin also had birth complications.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The glimmer in Jongin’s orbs is brought about by the tears gathering in his eyes, betrayal shines like the blade of a knife that plunged itself on Sehun’s gut. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And… you didn’t tell me?” Jongin whimpers. Sehun’s throat is heavy with words that he cannot utter, as he watches his best friend fall down on the couch behind him. His posture reflected the tumultuous storm inside of him, and when Jongin finally, finally stares at him, he deciphers what it is—fear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It is evident with the way that his fingers tremble, as he runs them shakily through his hair, how his breaths are labored and broken. “Sehun, do you not realize what this means? You could – You could –”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Die</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Something could happen to you!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jongin is afraid. Terrified. He couldn’t even say the word. With a few strides, the distance between them vanished. He pulls his best friend towards him, hoping to transfer warmth and assure him that Sehun is here. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m okay, Jongin. The doctor said that my pregnancy is doing great. You don’t –” He pauses to lift Jongin’s head, so they could be eye to eye. His best friend refused, however, burrowing his face further on Sehun’s chest. The younger sighs, “you don’t have to worry. I am not gonna leave.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I am not going to leave you. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nini,” he pleads, thumb brushing gently at Jongin’s nape. “Please. I’m sorry for keeping this to you. I didn’t want to worry you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am always going to be worried about you.” Sehun released a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. Jongin responded, that’s a good start, right? The latter’s hand slid from his waist to his bump. It’s a welcomed presence, the touch offered security like a protective embrace. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jongin peers up at Sehun, his gaze is resolute and commanding. It carried the force of the storm and the word of the gods. “Promise me. Promise me that you will not leave, that you will be okay. Promise me, Sehun.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>This time, it was Sehun who buried his head on the crook of his best friend’s neck. “I promise,” he mumbles, and Jongin feels it on his skin. The promise engraves on Jongin’s skin and he will take that promise wherever he goes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They have a lot to clarify, Sehun realizes, as he examines chocolate variants, musing on what he should get. For one, the technicalities of their relationship remain unspoken of. Although Jongin has already hinted about what he feels towards him, that doesn’t answer the question regarding where Jongin should stand on Sehun’s and the baby’s life. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>If anything, it serves to bring a new wave of complication. What does this mean for them? The confession did not include a concrete plan. They still have to talk about that, but how will Sehun bring this conversation up without letting it slip that Jongin has already confessed to him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun’s thoughts were interrupted by a presence beside him. “Hey, do you need help? That looks heavy.” His eyes drift to where the man is looking—his basket. The impassive expression on his face was replaced by that of gratitude. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A smile blooms on his face. There’s a thought urging him to not trust this stranger, but Sehun reasons out that what can this stranger do to him in broad daylight in the middle of a crowded grocery. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure? I don’t want to be a bother.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Observing the other as subtle as he could, he notices that the said man’s features are kind, but all of them are sculpted with precision. Like somebody that Sehun knows, although his best friend’s features are much more defined, his jaw is angled too meticulously and his eyes could set the stars ablaze. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man smiles and it looks too genuine for him to be a serial killer. “I’m Sehun, by the way. You are?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My name is Donghae.” Sehun nods at the information, handing the basket of sweets to the said man, but before Donghae could hold onto the basket, it was taken away from his hold with a firm force that shocked Sehun. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s no need. I can take it from here.” The newcomer emphasized, his tone was serious and a bit ominous in Sehun’s opinion. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jongin!” Sehun exclaimed, automatically gravitating closer to his side. The said man smirks, a little too arrogant for his liking. “Oh, by the way, this is Donghae.” They gave each other meek nods. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Their atmosphere is tense and Sehun’s not sure where it was coming from. Jongin and Donghae are still eyeing each other for a reason that he cannot quite decipher. Donghae was the first to break. The grin on his face was playful, but Jongin’s expression was far from that. If anything, it only irked Jongin more. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, man. We’re cool, alright? Just wanted to help.” Sehun hears Jongin release a sigh of relief. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you,” he says, then takes a hold of Sehun’s hand. Jongin starts to walk, so he has no choice but to follow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you okay, Jongin? You seem tense.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jongin gives him a warm look. The hardness in his expression that had been there awhile ago has completely left his features. “Of course,” he squeezes Sehun’s fingers lightly. “What else do you want?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun made a gesture as if he was thinking. “Well, baby garlic bread has been telling me that pasta is very much appreciated.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jongin staggers dramatically, completely resigned with how Sehun just said “baby garlic bread”. The latter cackles, delighted at the sight of his best friend’s misery. A warm feeling spreads like a gentle wildfire on his chest, it thrums and sings the melody of a midsummer’s breeze. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Everything will be fine, little one. I can’t wait to meet you. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At eight months, they have taken up the habit of making out every chance they get. It started during one of their breathing exercises. Sehun woke up with an urge to wear Jongib’s flannel which was still branded with his scent. He started out as usual, going to the bathroom to freshen up, and then almost an hour later, Jongin came to the kitchen while Sehun’s preparing their breakfast. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good morning, Nini!” Sehun greets cheerfully while holding a spatula on his hand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Instead of a reply, however, Jongin remains rigid, openly gaping at him. Sehun tips his head to the side, weirded out by his best friend’s aloof behavior. He carefully places down the spatula before walking towards Jongin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you okay?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jongin snaps out of his trance, and upon noticing Sehun’s proximity, he immediately steps back, as if he had been burnt. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh. Of course,” he replies absentmindedly. Sehun scowls at Jongin’s back, annoyed at his best friend's dismissal. The latter remained quiet throughout breakfast, seemingly persistent to avoid any eye contact with Sehun. Verbal interactions remained scarce as well. He initially wondered if Jongin had the problem with the food, but he was able to finish it as usual, so he crossed the option out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His best friend couldn’t be angry at him, could he? Sehun would like to think not, Jongin was still consistent in helping the younger with his breathing exercises. If anything, he was more attentive and gentle.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun had his back on Jongin’s chest, the latter’s legs were caging him in. It wasn’t until halfway through their session that Sehun had realized what was going on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Along with his flannel shirt, he was wearing track shorts, and apparently, that bothered Jongin. Some of the exercises required movements that would reveal the skin on his back or shoulders. Whenever that happens, he would literally hear Jongin’s breath hitch and his body would go rigid. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Concerned, Sehun craned his head. “Jongin?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The said man had his eyes in front, still not looking at Sehun. “Hmmm?” He whispered with a tremble in his voice. Sehun escaped from Jongin’s hold and faced him completely. The new position rendered both of his knees in between his best friend. Now, eye to eye, he can clearly see the tenseness of Jongin’s physique, how he appears to be seconds away from bolting out of the door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun cupped his best friend’s face, making the other stare at his eyes directly. Jongin frowns in worry at the look of conflict maring his features. “Hey, what’s wrong?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The storm in Jongin’s eyes became heavier, but he held his ground, refusing to break eye contact. He swallows, staring more intensely at Sehun. “Punch me if you don’t want this.” He didn’t get the chance to question what he meant because the next thing he registers was Jongin’s lips on his. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The younger fights the urge to moan, and his mind reels back to kiss that they had shared months ago. Sehun’s not sure if that was their first, to be honest. He doesn’t know if they kissed when they… they did </span>
  <em>
    <span>it. </span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Did they?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun would soon realize that he doesn’t care, not when Jongin’s teeth are nipping at his jaw, and he couldn’t stop the shudder that courses through his body at the pressure on his neck mixed with the warmth of Jongin’s breath caressing his skin like the lightest of feathers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck,” he quivers. Jongin’s hands are roaming around his body at his back, at his thighs, at the curve of his ass. Sehun wants to feel him all over, to have Jongin’s touch engraved at every inch of his skin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jongin breaks the kiss, and without missing a beat, the younger chases after him, but the former stops him with a palm on his cheek, his thumb brushing gently on Sehun’s skin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Beautiful,” Jongin whispered, staring directly at Sehun’s orbs. He leans in for a chaste kiss. “But you sting a lot.” He adds quietly on the younger’s lips, as if it were his biggest secret, the truth he so badly wanted to hide.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun remembers Jongin’s words from </span>
  <em>
    <span>that </span>
  </em>
  <span>night, and wonders how much of them were true and how much were the product of his low tolerance for alcohol. For one, he didn’t mention anything about what happened because Jongin is a flirty bastard. Like, he was born with that instinct, he could do it even if he was shit-faced or half-asleep. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>At the back of his mind, “It’s not like Jongin has to even try at all. Like, Jongin’s entire existence is enough to tease a whole damn country simultaneously.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Meanwhile, the most honest part in him knows that Sehun said nothing that night because he didn’t want to get his hopes up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jongin.” He lifts his head at Sehun’s call. His best friend has been giving him foot massages for a week now. The younger is mostly on bed rest now, as more than an hour on his feet and they would feel sore and swollen. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>At first, he kept the matter to himself, opting to secretly do the massages on his own, but his belly doesn’t really allow much freedom. It frustrated him to the point of tears, and Sehun swears that the sight of him crying almost made Jongin shit on his pants in panic or cry along with the younger. Whichever came first. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“My feet hurt and I can’t massage them!” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Sehun, why didn’t you tell me?” Jongin chastises, reaching out for Sehun’s feet. The younger refuses, however, pulling his feet away. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“No, don’t look at them. They’re swollen and ugly.” Sehun scowls, eyes focused on the lump under the blanket which, Jongin guesses, are his feet. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Don’t be ridiculous,” he replies, gathering the younger’s feet on his lap. He takes a hold of the comforter and flips it over. Jongin pauses, “Oh, wow.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>They are, indeed, swollen.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Apparently, “Oh, wow” was not the right thing to say because the next second, Sehun’s foot finds his chest and with the force of a bull, Jongin is being kicked out of the bed. Again, Jongin has no sense of self-preservation, so this is expected of him, to be honest.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you excited?” Sehun asks, eyes twinkling in delight. Jongin stops his ministration to stare at him for a bit. He sighs, continuing with the task at hand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are going to be in a lot of pain, Sehun. I don’t think I’m up to see that.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, that’s not really exciting, so I don’t think about that,” Sehun admits. “But, hey! On the brighter side, we will be seeing little eggs benedict.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jongin lets out a tortured groan, but he chuckles shortly after. It sounds a little bit pained and resigned, however. Probably due to how he just called their unborn child “eggs benedict”. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sehun lurches forward at the particularly intense contraction that suddenly hits him. He has been experiencing them for an hour now, but he remains adamant on not waking Jongin up. His best friend has just regained his privilege of not having to wake up at ass o’clock in the morning to help Sehun with his morning sickness. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck,” he groans, unconsciously crushing Jongin’s arms in the process. Immediately, the said man stirs, mind still in a haze from sleep. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sehun, what’s wrong?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, nothing.” He tries to brush it off, but his expression instantly betrays him. “Just,” he wheezes, “false contractions. Sorry, I woke you up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Still, Jongin looks alarmed. “How long have you been having them?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s been quite awhile now.” His voice was hoarse, each word sounding more strained than the previous. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sehun, why didn’t you tell me?” At the end of his question, he registered the wetness of the bed. Jongin’s eyes instantly went wide, heart pounding and feeling cold all over. “Is that…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, no, no, no,” Sehun whispers in despair and panic. “This can’t be happening. I still have two weeks to go. Jongin, please.” His cheeks were stained with trails of tears. Jongin wants nothing more than to take that pain away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun’s senses were clouded, and all he can think of is how this shouldn’t be happening right now. He fears for the safety of his child more than his own life. The following events came in a blur, but amidst everything, he registers Jongin’s hold, as he carries him to the car, then he hears Baekhyun. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Baek?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Baekhyun gives him a smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How did –”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I broke 15 traffic rules. I can’t believe this baby is that excited to come out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun whimpers and Jongin holds him close, feels the rapid rhythm of Jongin’s chest, the slight tremble in his hold, and the shakiness of his breath. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jongin…” The said man’s gaze immediately snaps at him. Sehun perceives the tight knot on his forehead. The younger reaches out to smoothen it, but Jongin takes a hold of his arm and presses kisses on his knuckles. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The gesture was so intimate, with his eyes closed and his grasp firm, it felt as if he was muttering a prayer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m here. You’ll be okay. You’ll be okay, Sehun.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The way that Jongin spoke those words seemed like a promise.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>More to himself than to Sehun. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Doctor Kwon was already there when they arrived. Sehun was transferred to a stretcher and the nurses were given an instruction to rush him to the operating room immediately. Not once, not even for a second did Jongin let go of his hand. Sehun held on tightly and his gaze never left Jongin’s eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hoping to memorize each dip and curve of his features, to engrave Jongin’s eyes deep in his memories, so he would have something to keep him going despite the pain. Sehun registers a mutter of “Sir, you can’t go inside”. Sehun was about to protest when he heard Jongin calling for him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jongin…” He mutters weakly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you,” Jongin whispers, and despite the pain and the fear consuming him, Sehun found hope in his best friend’s promise. “I love you,” he repeats, and Sehun could feel Jongin’s hand slipping from his grasp. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you,” Sehun replies, praying that the wind would carry his confession and whisper comfort in Jongin’s heart. He watches until Jongin’s form disappears at the closing of the door. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sehun cries as he experiences the most excruciating pain. His breathing was labored, attempting to breathe through the pain, but each inhale brought another bout of agony. He grits his teeth firmly, hoping to bring forth a sensation other than this pain. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sehun, you’re doing well. The baby is about to come out, so when I say push, do it a little harder, okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His hearing centers on Doctor Kwon’s words that his baby is about to come out. Despite the suffering, he never once complained, embracing the pain completely for the sake of his child. Sehun's resolve remained strong and unfaltering. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Push in 3, 2 –” Sehun’s screams filled the entire room. His throat is raspy from the force, the drag of the air out of his throat felt like a blunt knife scratching across the surface of the metal. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>For almost a minute, only the evidence of Sehun’s agony can be heard until another cry pierced through their surroundings, enveloping his senses with the most beautiful sound he had ever heard. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is that…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He roams his eyes around the room until he spots Doctor Kwon holding his baby close to him. “Sehun, it’s a beautiful baby boy.” He could only choke through his tears, as he feels an overwhelming sense of love and protectiveness. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There’s a realization that he would do this over and over again, if it meant seeing his precious son come into the world. The sight of his son, bundled in a blue blanket brought a warmth that no words can explain. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun was so enamored by the sight of his baby that he did not notice the sudden chaos, how one of the nurses screamed, “Doctor, he is hemorrhaging!”. His vision suddenly became blurry, and he was suddenly hit by an unexpected onslaught of light, as a nurse ran outside. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The slight gap of the door gave him the privilege of seeing Jongin again. He gives him a smile, failing to register how Jongin’s expression screamed of pain, how there were tears flowing endlessly from his eyes. The door closed, but Sehun didn’t see how Jongin’s knees gave out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>How the light in his eyes died. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun cluelessly closed his eyes, mistaking the coldness as exhaustion, so he allowed it to overtake him until darkness was all he knew. The last image in his mind was the vision of a summer filled with laughters, with Jongin’s arms around him as they watch their son run around the rich meadow in bliss. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jongin is being awfully quiet, his head is hung low and he has never, not even once, looked Sehun in the eye. This is not what he expected, of course. Baekhyun has informed him that his heart literally stopped pumping and he experienced postpartum hemorrhaging which is just a fancy term for he lost too much blood. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was hoping for a little more enthusiasm from Jongin. Not this silent treatment like there is a wall between them. Sehun considered the possibility of tears, but not this. Never this. Still, Jongin remained in service for all of Sehun’s requests, immediately on his feet before Sehun could even utter the first syllable. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The distance between them is suffocating and the months they spent together have only served to bring them closer. If Sehun were to be honest, he doesn’t know how his days would go without Jongin by his side, but then, that’s a problem for next time. He currently has one at hand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jongin,” Sehun whines. “C’mon, talk to me. I didn’t come back from the dead, literally, for you to ignore me like this.” He tugs at Jongin’s hand lightly, beckoning him to sit beside him. Surprise came to him when his best friend relented without struggle. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The feeling of home was Jongin’s eyes that finally met his gaze. He places his palm gently on each of Jongin’s cheeks. “I know. I know that I scared you, and –”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Scared doesn’t cover it, but sure.” His voice was tinted with sarcasm. It has been three days since he woke up, and this is the most that he got out of Jongin. Aside from his unceasing questions of “Are you okay?”, “Do you feel hungry?”, “Should I lower the temperature?”. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Initially, Jongin denied his request to visit the hospital’s sky garden, but upon Sehun’s persistence and Doctor Kwon’s encouragement, who is Jongin to not give in? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun stares at Jongin with a barely concealed amusement. He got his best friend to talk, that’s a start, right? He just has to push him a little further, nothing that a teasing wouldn’t be able to do. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why? Were you scared that you would be in charge of diaper duties alone?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jongin pauses, eyes suddenly becoming vacant. The younger might have said the wrong words. </span>
  <em>
    <span>You think?</span>
  </em>
  <span> His brain chides. He expected his best friend to curse at him, and that would serve to break the ice between the two of them, but then again, a lot of people have commented on his oblivious tendencies and impaired judgement. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Quite frankly, he didn’t know where those came from before, but now, he might just have a little bit of an idea. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The breeze is pleasant, but not welcoming. Not when Jongin is like this. Not when the distance between them is almost too wide to close. There’s a pregnant pause before the silence breaks, but then, if Sehun had only known, he would have wished for eternal silence because the brokenness of Jongin’s confession is the nightmare that will perpetually shadow over him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was scared of doing it without you.” Pain was like a river flowing in the ocean. Jongin irises spoke of that along with the fear that shadowed the glimmer in his eyes. There were telltale signs of tears, droplets clinging to his lashes and Sehun wants nothing more than to kiss those away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s because I hadn’t realized until you were there, fighting for your life, that I built my life, my future with you in it. Then I had to face the possibility of losing you, and my life crumbled before me. I… can’t… I don’t know how to go on without you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun’s breath hitched, and had to literally force down the sob that threatened to break out from his lips. He glares hard on the ground, willing his tears away. Jongin was scared, and he knew that more than anyone else, but to have those words out, the pain felt more physical like a hand on his throat, like suffocating darkness and Sehun was a lost child—crying and begging to be rescued. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He could never imagine being in Jongin’s position, having to witness your loved one fade before you. The pain he felt during childbirth was nothing compared to this. It was something permanent and it teaches you that forever isn’t always a good thing because right there and then, the sight of him dying must have had Jongin thinking that he will lose Sehun forever. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But then nothing can be done. He can never take that painful memory away. It will always be there, will always bring fear. Sehun could only do as much as promise Jongin that he will never leave, and will never allow him to go through that pain again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jongin. Jongin, look at me,” he commands, bringing Jongin’s hand close to his lips. Sehun presses loving kisses on his best friend’s knuckles. “I am sorry that you had to go through that.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jongin’s tears were a traitorous river that threatened to drown Sehun in misery. “But I promise. I promise that you will never go through that again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The look that Jongin gave him was intense like a volcano threatening to erupt, too powerful, too destructive. Then it broke. His facade broke, and Sehun could clearly see his hesitations, his fears, and his anxieties. He bared himself for Sehun, and it was right there that the younger realized that even gods bleed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>All of a sudden, a hand wraps around the base of his neck and forces him forward. Whatever sound he made was muffled by Jongin’s lips on his, kissing him fiercely, as if his life depended on how their lips connected in all the perfect ways. He wants this. Badly. Sehun longs for the warmth of Jongin’s body, his embrace, and his touch seemed to set all of Sehun ablaze. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jongin gasps, breaking the kiss. “I am in love with you, want to spend the rest of my life with you, want to watch every sunrise and sunset with you, and there’s nothing else that I want in this world other than to be able to see your eyes the moment I open mine, each day of my life.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The younger hesitates, wanting to tear his eyes away from the man in front of him because he cannot, for the life of him, think clearly. It’s an impossible feat, having someone whose eyes are as enigmatic as all of the stars combined look at you… every sense of coherence will leave you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you… Do you really mean it?” Sehun asks, but when he looked at his best friend in the eye, he realized that he didn’t need to. The answer that he was searching for had been there all along, how he would stare at Sehun as if he were all the colors in every sunset. His stare spoke of veneration, of a promise of forever. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And Sehun knows that even in the darkest and coldest night, he will never be lonely, not when he has this memory of Jongin engraved deep within him, not when Jongin looks at him as if Sehun was the answer to all of his questions.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Sehun has always been a person of curiosity, he craved to unravel the enigma that is Jongin. “How long have you known?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jeju. You know how much I loved parties, how I always chased the fun. Imagine my confusion when we were there, celebrating, but all I could think about was how I wish I could fall asleep next to you and I wanted to go back that night, but there were no available flights, so –”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You went back the next morning, and I wasn’t there,” Sehun supplied, mischief glints like a playful song. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then I saw you. I couldn’t even stay mad at you. Had to… Had to force myself to get mad at you, but all I could think about was that I am home.” Jongin pauses, searching for something underneath his shirt. He pulls out a silver chain and yanks it off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What…” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I brought this ring back in Jeju. I felt restless, but I couldn’t go back to you. I roamed around and came across this old jewelry shop, and I knew what I had to do, so I got you this,” Jongin trails, unsure and reluctant. “This is not… I am not proposing to you. Yet. You’re not ready for that, I know. I just felt like I had to give you this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jongin proceeds to slide the band on Sehun’s finger. The ring was far from grand, but it had the right amount of elegance and simplicity. It rests heavy on his finger, as he is only getting used to the sensation of it, but he knows that in time, he will get used to it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you,” Jongin whispered earnestly. “Always. Nothing can change that. You don’t have to say it back. I just wa –”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, I will say it back when I mean it, when I feel the same way as you do by then, promise me that you will say it back.” The wind blows and the leaves ruffle in the background.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jongin smiles, a bit relieved. “I promise. I will wait for that day. I said it already, but I’ll say it again and I will never get tired of saying them over and over.” He pauses, cupping Sehun’s cheeks. “I am in love with you, Oh Sehun.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Without missing a single beat, “I love you, too, Kim Jongin.” The younger grins mischievously, pressing his lips on Jongin’s palm, but throughout his actions, his stare never left Jongin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” Jongin was solid for a couple of seconds before his lips parted in surprise. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I told you, didn’t I? I would say it back once I mean it. I kept my promise, but you didn’t. You promised that you would say it back, but you didn’t,” Sehun pouts. “You’re a cruel man, Kim Jongin. I can’t believe I trusted you with my heart.” He displayed a dejected expression, but underneath the surface, Sehun was enjoying the sight in front of him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jongin stopped working. The man remained motionless and gaping like a fish out of the water. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“D-Do you mean that? Do you really mean that?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And now, you are doubting me?!” Sehun shrieks, portraying an expression of alarm and frustration. “I want a divorce.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Later that day, they visited their son in the nursery room. They weren’t allowed to hold the baby yet because he had to be put inside an incubator for some time. Thankfully, Doctor Kwon deemed their baby healthy enough to be discharged from the neonatal ICU. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jaehyunnie,” Sehun coos, despite the mirror separating them. This is only the third time he has seen his son, but the love he feels is already beyond him. He couldn’t wait to have this baby in his arms, to have the awful, sleepless night the other parents have been talking about. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He will embrace it all without question. A comforting hand on his back made it known that Jongin is beside him. Without sparing him a glance, he asks, “Isn’t he beautiful, Jongin?” After all, it’s a fundamental truth that the sun rises and sets each day just as how Sehun’s love for his son will never fade, will remain constant, growing, and boundless. </span>
  <span></span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun closes his eyes and promises that he will love Jaehyun more and more each passing day. Even when it’s difficult. Even when he has a lot of doubts about himself. As long as he has Jaehyun’s hand to hold. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Indeed, he is.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But what Sehun didn’t know is that he wasn’t looking at their son. With all his heart, Jongin loves Jaehyun, and he will forever be grateful that he brought them together, but Sehun…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun will always be the love of Jongin’s life, the very definition of love for him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s quite unfair, really, how Sehun could stand there, the lights forming a halo atop of his hair, and he is nothing short of ethereal. Sehun with his bright eyes and kind smile, standing in front of him as clueless and naive as the day he was born. It’s tragic how he is completely unaware that he is the storm that raged Jongin’s nights, the plague that sought destruction in its wake. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then Sehun smiles at him, and he suddenly realizes that love is beautiful. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jongin never thought that one day, someone could set his world ablaze, and he would be too enamored, too addicted that he would gladly walk in to the raging fire—</span>
</p><p>
  <span>and not burn.</span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. BONUS!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Jongin, how many times do I have to tell you that you do not have to buy everything that he touches. He’s one! He will outgrow everything in two months!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The said man flinches, still holding onto Jaehyun. Using him as a human-shield isn’t really a father-like thing to do. “But he likes them…” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun throws his hands up in the air in exasperation. “Jaehyun, your appa’s an idiot,” he grumbles, snatching their son away from Jongin’s hold. “Give me back my son.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“... He is my son, too.” Jongin commented meekly, but again, his self-preservation skills has never been something that he could brag about. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, did you give birth to him?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jongin remains silent. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No? Then he’s mine alone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sehun, you can’t say that!” He exclaims, but Sehun is already walking away from him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Watch me!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Later that night, Jongin hears Sehun teaching Jaehyun a few words. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, Jaehyunnie. Now, say ‘Nini’.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mmm,” their son mumbles. “Na. Na.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nini,” Sehun repeats. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ni...ni.” Jongin hears a squeal coming from Sehun followed by a burst of giggles from their son. He could imagine Jaehyun laughing with his two front teeth on display, drool dribbling in the corners of his mouth. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kim Jongin is a lucky man. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Two years later, Jongin would give Sehun a ring, and exactly a month after that, the latter would realize the engravings on the inner part of the ring. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Vous et nul autre. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You and no other. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun brings it up during dinner. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Took you a month to figure that out, huh?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The younger smirks. “Well, in my defense, it took us years to figure </span>
  <em>
    <span>us</span>
  </em>
  <span> out, like I thought you were just my dude, really, so it’s quite an improvement; don’t you think?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really, Sehun? Your dude? Not your best friend, but your dude?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean, there’s Kyungsoo? And Baekhyun?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sehun!” Jongin slams the table lightly, like Jaehyun does when he throws a fit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m kidding! I’m kidding!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jongin has The Audacity™ to do The Pout™. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>(Jongin is such a child, and in this essay, Sehun will –)</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello! Thank you for reading my work. I know I lack in several aspects, and I would like to extend my gratitude to everyone who made it here! </p><p>I know that all of us are derailed from what we deem as normal, but I hope that you will find strength to push through. To all those who are battling the virus in the front line, I could never thank you enough for your bravery. I pray for the safety of your families and that you have the proper equipment to guard yourselves. I pray the our governments will learn to value those in the health sector and the essential workers. I pray that when people will write stories about the fallen, they would not only highlight the heroism of our front liners, but also how many lives were lost because of the wrong decisions of the people in power, how they thought that the economy is everything while giving basically nothing to boost the health sector. (Not saying that each country is like this, but GENERALLY). </p><p>I hope all of you are well. </p><p>Thank you, really, for everything.</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>twitter: @crestre</p></blockquote></div></div>
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